


Unexpected Coincidence

by loveisagame_726



Category: The 100
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bisexual Female Character, Clarke, F/F, Football, Injury, Lesbian Character, Love, Rugby, Sao Paulo, Smut, lexa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-07-15 06:25:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 37,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7211579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveisagame_726/pseuds/loveisagame_726
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was everything she had ever dreamed of. First was the 2014 Women’s Rugby World Cup, which her and her team mates won. Now the 2016 Rio Olympics was on her mind. This was it, everything was perfect. Clarke Griffin was not only a World Cup Winner but now she was professional rugby player. </p><p>After one year of playing rugby Lexa had already been called up to the international squad and played at a number of sevens competitions across the globe. The Olympics were her goal, it was only two years away and she knew that was her time to shine. </p><p>That was then, but time changes things. But can they finally let go of the past and follow their hearts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue.

It was everything she had ever dreamed of. No one could take this feeling away from her, the years of training and social sacrifices she had to make had paid off. It had only been a few weeks since the highlight of her playing career happened, and now she was a professional rugby player. One of the professional contracts offered to 20 of the female rugby players, was hers. First was the 2014 Women’s Rugby World Cup, which her and her team mates won. Now the 2016 Rio Olympics was on her mind. This was it, everything was perfect. Clarke Griffin was not only a World Cup Winner but now she was professional rugby player.

 

Getting to this point hadn’t been easy for Clarke, sacrifices were made along the way especially as she only took up the sport when she was attending University. Football had been her sport, having earned herself a professional contract and being on the England radar but a knee injury after completing her A-Levels, gave her a chance to try something new. That and the fact her mum persuaded her to go to university, convinced that her professional sports career wasn’t to be. Her mum wanted her to study medicine, but she refused and opted to take sport science at Leeds Met where her best friend, and practically her sister, Octavia would also be studying.

 

During fresher’s week both girls joined the football team, both deciding to take a break from professional football for their studies but couldn’t give it all up. By chance Clarke instantly became friends with one of her course mates Emily, who happened to be a rugby player and out of playful banter, Clarke agreed to attend a rugby training session to show Emily that footballers were actually strong. Little did she know, that would be the day she turned away from football and took on a new challenge.

 

Now looking at her contract that she had just signed, Clarke realised how far she had come in such a short time. Within her first season of rugby she had attended England U20 trials, after impressing in the North Academy. It wasn’t long after that, that she found herself in the senior team training towards the world cup. All of this was happening whilst studying for her degree. It had been worth it, the world cup win was more than enough but now she was a professional rugby player.

\------

England had won the 2014 Women’s Rugby World Cup. Lexa had all of her teammates at her apartment to watch it, not that many were watching as it was fifteens and they predominately played sevens. As usual Lexa zoned out, she loved watching fifteens and especially when England played. Not surprising that her favourite players were of course Emily Scarrett and Clarke Griffin, they were truly the best in the world and rumours were that they would be offered professional contracts soon, something Lexa longed for but knew it wouldn’t happen so soon for her.

 

Growing up, everyone expected her to follow her older sister’s footsteps. Anya played football and by the age of 20 had already played for her country. However, Lexa didn’t want to always be under her sisters shadow and when she went to university she signed up for every sport available. Rugby was one of them, and within an instant she was hooked and she was pretty good at it. After one year she had already been called up to the international squad and played at a number of sevens competitions across the globe. The Olympics were her goal, it was only two years away and she knew that was her time to shine.

 

Looking across the room she could see Anya getting in a heated argument with Costia, her girlfriend. She sighed, she knew what it was about but she just couldn’t deal with the drama right now. Costia was difficult, she just didn’t understand why Lexa was so focussed on Rugby which always caused conflict between the two of them. It wouldn’t be long before Lexa would end things, but she just didn’t have the heart to tell her so she kept putting it off.

 

Switching back to the rugby she noticed the post-match interviews with Emily and Clarke, Lexa couldn’t help but get lost in Clarkes eyes. It wasn’t normally like Lexa to be attracted to someone she admired, but Clarke was an exception she was an amazing rugby player but also extremely beautiful even if she had a cut on her face, which Lexa assumed would have been from a stray boot during the game. A small wave excitement filled Lexa, if the rumours were true she would most likely be playing opposite most of the England squad who had just won the World Cup. She would get to meet Clarke.


	2. A new start.

11 hours! What was she going to do for 11 hours?

 

Clarke hated flying. No matter how many flights she would get, it was still not her favourite past time. It wasn’t even just a small part of the act, it was all of it. Being in the air surrounded by strangers and not being able to do anything drove her crazy. Restless and bored were two things she hated to be. Her dad would always say she had ants in her pants the way she would constantly fidget during long car journeys. It would cause her to laugh and he would find something to distract her. At least it was an overnight flight and she could potentially get some sleep, thankfully she had a window seat.

 

As the flight began to take off, Clarke took one last look at the London skyline. Only a few hours ago her best friend Octavia Blake had dropped her off at the airport. Their goodbye was emotional, O was like her sister, they pretty much grew up together when her and her brother Bellamy moved into the house across from Clarkes. Their family life was difficult and so they pretty much moved into the Griffin household where it was normal for them to be spending Christmas together. This would be the first time they would be apart, they lived together during university and got an apartment together when they graduated. Even when Clarke had to move to London, Octavia got a transfer and joined her. They were inseparable and Clarke was grateful for that, without O she doesn’t know how she would’ve got through this past year. Octavia had been her rock. It had been her who had persuaded her to coach afterall.

 

_“Clarke give me one good reason why you shouldn’t take the coaching job? I know coaching at Saracens was supposed to be until you figured things out but your so good at it” Octavia had been right. The job with Saracens community team had been a filler so she could figure out what to do with her life, but it didn’t take her long to make a name for herself as a coach even assisting with some of the sessions for the senior mens. It helped her find some purpose and not to completely walk away from rugby._

 

Now she was sat on a plane for over 11 hours heading to Sao Paulo, Brazil.

 

It was only a month ago when she got a call, from a guy named Lincoln. He was a sports co-ordinator at a prestigious school in Sao Paulo, Arkadia High, and he was looking for a head of rugby. It would mean teaching on a daily basis at the school as well as working with the local rugby team Saracens Bandeirantes (she later found out her boss had recommended her). The school also worked with other organisations to deliver sport within other areas of Sao Paulo developing children’s experiences and opportunities. The problem was she couldn’t imagine being back in the same city where her life completely changed.

 

Clarke stuck her headphones on and leaned against the window. If she was stuck on this plane she was as sure as hell going to get some sleep.

\---- 

The alarm started to go. It was 4am and Raven groaned as she hit the snooze button. She had at least 20 minutes before she had to really get up. Although it would mean rushing around and probably not getting the chance to make a cup of tea, those 20 minutes were worth it, after all she didn’t want to be grumpy when she met her new roommate.

 

Sometimes she wished her relationship with her boss Lincoln, wasn’t so close. That way she probably wouldn’t be getting up so early on Saturday morning to pick up her new roommate who would also be working at the same school as her. It was all Lincoln could talk about the past week, wait the past month now Raven came to think about it. The new head of rugby was meant to be something special, and it was such a coup for Lincoln to have hired her. Raven knew she would still be the favourite, Lincoln over time and become like a brother to her, He had just recently promoted her to head of football at the school which was a huge shock to her, although she secretly knew he was happy about it, the other option was a guy called Murphy who just wasn’t as passionate about the job as Raven.

 

Raven had arrived in Sao Paulo over a year ago, after giving up her football professional contract for a ‘career break’ to teach football and play for one of the best female football teams in Sao Paulo, Palmeiras. Initially it was only supposed to last a year, but she fell in love with the job and the sport all over again. Football had been her life; she had represented her country but tore her ACL which made her question her life. It was then her manager mentioned about an opportunity in Brazil and she snapped it up. What better way to fall back in love with the sport, then be in the country that was football crazy. And she was right, it didn’t take her long to find her passion and most importantly feel at home. Sao Paulo was a completely different city to Manchester, where she was living and playing previously.

 

For Raven adjusting to life in Brazil had been easy, she would spend her summers in Portugal every year growing up as her father was Portuguese, so the language was no problem. The apartment she lived in was owned by the school, mainly for international teachers or visitors. It was pretty nice and Raven loved it. Three bedrooms, a study/games room, kitchen, living area and being on the top floor of the apartment block, an outside living area. She had spent most of the previous day cleaning the apartment and turning the other en-suite bedroom into a room for her new roommate. It had made her realise how awesome her apartment was and a little sad at how little time she actually spent at home. With her job and training she pretty much ate and slept there and didn’t get to enjoy the space she had. She couldn’t even remember the last time she watched TV, what had happened in Game of Thrones!?.

 

**BEEP BEEP BEEP**

 

Snooze time was up. This was it, she had to get ready. After sending Lincoln a quick message to tell him she was awake (which he had got her to agree to do last night knowing she would likely oversleep) she got into the shower and started to get ready. The sun had already begun to rise as she left the building, she really hoped her new roommate didn’t hate football too much. She knew how rugby players could get.


	3. Clarke Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke arrives in Sao Paulo, we get to see more of Raven and Lincoln.

Finally, the plane had landed and Clarke breathed a sigh of relief. On the landing they hit a rain cloud which caused some turbulence snapping Clarke out of her slumber. She had slept through the whole flight. As she looked out the window she could see the sun starting to rise, giving her a clear view of Sao Paulo’s skyline. The vastness took her breathe away, she knew Sao Paulo was a huge city but she didn’t expect it to be this big. This was it she thought, she was truly far away from home. This was the new start she needed.

The past month had flown by, and when she thought about so had the 3 months prior to that. It was August and that was only 6 months after that day. The first month she was fine, she had quickly settled into her new job and focussed on her conditioning. It didn’t even bother her too much that she was no longer training, she would still hang out with her team mates and it was nice, she also helped with some of the coaching.

But then she got the phone call. Her dad had been in a car accident on his way to meet her. There had been a collision on the motorway, she had heard it on the news at work not thinking much about it. It wasn’t until she didn’t receive any calls to confirm their meet time that she started to worry. He would normally take the tube, but because he was meeting Clarke he drove as he wouldn’t be back in time from his meeting which was outside of the city. No matter what anyone said to her, the following weeks after, she blamed herself. She refused to even talk to her mum. Their relationship was already strained, and her dad had been her rock through her incident. Without him she had been lost, and she did what she had never done before, she drank without a care in the world.

It wasn’t long before she found out her boyfriend of 3 years, Finn, had been cheating on her since she was no longer a professional athlete. No wonder the months had flown by, it had been just one hangover to the next.

_Octavia was right, she needed to get away. “You need this Clarke, a fresh start. Don’t worry. You will be fine and I will always be a phone call away”_

Clarke replayed the conversation in her head as she exited the plane. It had been whilst she was packing and Clarke had been getting worked up about leaving, wondering if it was the right thing to do. She didn’t like change, always hated it when her mum would redecorate the house. Change just didn’t sit well with her. Her phone started to ring and as she got it out of her bag, she noticed her world cup winners medal, which she had spent months avoiding to look at, was tucked away at the bottom. Octavia must of sneaked it in.

_“You should take it with you” Octavia had caught Clarke toying with the medal, debating whether or not to take it with her. “I don’t know O, it’s just a harsh reminder of the person I used to be. How life used to be” she had replied._

It was true every time she looked at the medal all the memories came flooding back. Not that Octavia knew but she was still struggling with the fact that she was no longer the person she was, playing rugby for her country, was no longer her everyday life. She just did what she needed to do to get through everyday, work, train and drink. Once she had collected her suitcases (Octavia had insisted she take her whole wardrobe with her as she was allowed 2x32kg) she made her way through to the arrivals area in the hope it wouldn’t be hard to find her new boss,Lincoln and her roommate/colleague Raven. 

\------

“Morning Raven” Lincoln greeted her as she got into the car and he passed her the cup containing a freshly brewed tea, he knew she would need, more like requested. 

“Morning” Came the sleepy response. 

“Raven, don’t be grumpy, we need to make a good impression for Clarke to really help her settle in and the last thing I need is a grumpy Raven” She smirked, he knew her well and she could be a pain when she was grumpy. Plus, she knew he was really relying on her to be socialable as he wasn’t the best when meeting new people unless it was in the work environment. Now that was truly where Lincoln shined. 

“I know Lincoln, you just know me and mornings. Wait until the tea wakes me up and I’ll be back to my usual witty self, which I know you secretly love” she winked. Raven was well aware he needed her to be on form today, it was just way too early to even formulate words right now. 

“Did you read the email I send to you earlier this week?” Lincoln was well aware of Raven’s lack of love for checking her e-mails and he had sent her an e-mail earlier in the week with more details surrounding Clarke, and it was important that she had some details about the girl being her roomate. For a technical genius, he didn’t understand why she didn’t check her e-mails frequently, so many times she had nearly missed important meetings that were sent by e-mail. 

“It’s too early to recall, remind me?” The brunette hadn’t checked the e-mail, she didn’t see the point in them when she knew Lincoln would always remind her anyways. That was her point, why send something in an e-mail when you could easily speak to that person. She was a hands on individual and e-mails were just unnecessary. 

“More like you didn’t read it. You forget I know you very well Raven, you are just lucky you are a great football player and coach. So Clarke, was an England rugby player, one of the best in the world actually, and was part of the England team who won the 2014 Women’s rugby world cup”. Lincoln started to explain. He knew Clarke’s story well, he had grown to admire the player that she was. It was his younger sister Lexa who had got him into rugby to begin with, before she took up the sport the household had been solely interested in football, especially with their older sister Anya playing for their country. When Lexa first started playing rugby, he was the first to support her. He understood why she didn’t want to follow in her sister’s footsteps. There would always be the usual family joke that the girls became the successful athletes where he became solely focussed on coaching, he was once Anya’s coach before she got selected for Brasil. That is what he preferred and he loved supporting his sisters when he could, he was there that day that everything changed for Clarke, and he knew how important it would be for her to have the new start she needed.

“So what happened then?” From the way Lincoln was speaking, and the fact the girl was on her way to Sao Paulo, it was clear to Raven that Clarke was no longer playing rugby for her country. 

“It was actually during the World Rugby sevens tournament here in Sao Paulo. Clarke was one of the contracted professional athletes, training and competing for the 2016 Rio Olympics. Anyways, one tackle changed everything but that’s her story to tell, all I know is she took up coaching and she is actually one of the best female coaches around hence why I really wanted her to join us. Plus this is her chance for a new start, a lot of things happened after that day, which I’m sure she will explain but it’s important that you are there for her Raven, you’re going to be her first friend here, so please help her settle in” By the look in Lincoln’s eyes, the brunette could tell Clarkes story was a difficult one and he didn’t want to overstep his mark by not telling her too much. She respected that, it was just what he was like. There were days where he would hold the world on his shoulders but he still got on with his day. That’s why she loved him like a brother, he had helped her out so much since she arrived in Brasil. 

“Don’t worry man, I got this and if she is fit, who knows she could be more than my roommate” Raven teased. Lincoln rolled his eyes, he knew she was teasing, that was just typical Raven plus he knew exactly who she had her eyes on. 

“So once we’ve got the rugby princess all settled in, do you reckon she would be up for meeting the team later?” There was a social meeting later at their usual hangout the ‘Ark’ and Raven had promised a certain someone she would show her face. 

“I’m not sure Raven, she may be jetlagged. It would be good though to get her introduced as soon as possible though, so she has a network of friends. I won’t be attended though, I’m heading to the movies and princess where did that come from” Lincoln smirked, Raven and her nicknames! 

“I’m not sure it just came out, I think it fits!” They both laughed, it wasn’t long before they would arrive at the airport. Lincoln was nervous, he wanted this to go okay, he had promised his sister after all.


	4. New City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke see's her new apartment, we learn more about her past and Raven is becoming a good friend.

It took them 10 minutes to get her suitcases into the car, clearly she hadn’t thought about how they would fit when she was packing but Clarke was glad they were finally on the road. It had thrown her how welcoming both Lincoln and Raven had been when she arrived, the instant hug and kiss on the cheek was not something she was used to but Raven had explained that was the usual greeting in Brasil when she saw the blonde’s surprise. Clarke used to be a touchy feely kind of person, but that had changed recently so it took her by surprise. Instantly Clarke felt comfortable around Raven, she was a lot like Octavia in so many ways. That reminded her, she still needed to text the girl.

 **To MyRockO** : Hey O, I’ve landed. It’s so hot! The people form work have met me and seem alright, my roommate reminds me of you! I will call you later, Love you O.

 **To PrincessClarke** : Heyyyy Princess! I was so worried, I’m glad you have got there okay! What do you mean like me? There is only one me princess, it would take someone forever to be as awesome as me ;) p.s. are they hot? Come on give a girl something Clarkey! Love you.

Clarke smiled. Trust O to get straight to the point, that girl always had her head in the gutter. Looking at Lincoln she instantly knew he would be her best friends type, she made a note to get a photo with him later so that her best friend could have a look.

After taking of her jumper, she realised just how pale she was in comparison to her companions. It didn’t bother too much; she was fair skinned so a tan meant being bright red. The amount of times she would have come of a rugby pitch in the summer like a tomato after forgetting to apply sunscreen. It would always make her dad laugh. She hated that he wasn’t around anymore, he would’ve been the first person to call when she landed.

Trying to lose her thoughts, Clarke took in her surroundings. It had only been 6 months since she was last in Sao Paulo but everything seemed different. Come to think of it, she can’t really remember much about the place other than the hotel, rugby pitch and of course the hospital. It felt like it was a lifetime ago.

"Whereabouts is your apartment Raven?” Clarke asked, she didn’t recognise the area they were heading into at all. Not that she would’ve recognised it if she had been here before, everything was such a blur which wasn’t surprising considering what happened last time she was in this city.

“Well Clarke, OUR apartment is not far from the school, in the area Paulista. An area I am sure you are going to love, there is plenty of shops, restaurants and of course bars! Have you been to Sao Paulo before?” Raven knew the blonde had been in the city before, based on what Lincoln had told her but she wanted to give the girl the time to go into detail, she had only met the girl but she could tell she was someone that would be a good friend, and friends talk to each other she knew she would here Clarke’s story sooner or later.

“Yes I played rugby here a few months ago, but, well it’s all a bit hazy I can’t really remember much” Lincoln felt uncomfortable, he knew why Clarke couldn’t remember much and all he wanted to do was hug the girl and let her know that he was here but he didn’t want to overstep the line. He cared a lot for the blonde, not just because she was his colleague, but because he felt like her knew her well. After all he had spent years watching her play and hearing the stories his sister would tell him. Lexa. He remembered their conversation they had earlier in week about Clarke. It had been difficult to tell his sister she would be coming; he was worried how she would react.

_“What do you mean she is coming here?” Lexa had stood up abruptly when he told her he had hired Clarke. He didn’t know what to expect._

_“Yes Lexa, you’ve got to understand she is an amazing coach and she will be an asset for the school and from the sounds of it she needs a new start after everything that happened…”_

_“Don’t you think I know what happened? Don’t you think I wish I could take it all back and change it? I still think about it all the time, If I could trade places I would! I can’t even focus on my game because it still haunts me. My mistake Linc, this best not be because you want to try and rectify my mistake” Lexa was angry but Lincoln could tell she was also scared and hurt. Having Clarke around may cause Lexa to completely lose her focus but he was hoping, it would give her the much needed peace to finally let go of what happened._

“I was also sick when I arrived here, so I didn’t get to do much sightseeing during our downtime” Clarke continued to explain, bringing Lincoln back to the present. It was one thing Clarke constantly thought about. She had been sick when she arrived so spent the first couple of days in the hotel trying to get well enough to play. It meant missing the first round of games but she was well enough to play in the semi-final and final. Something she now wished hadn’t happened. If only she hadn’t got better, she wouldn’t have been given the clear to play and she would probably still be training for the Olympics. But there was nothing she could do about that now.

“So Raven, your head of football at Arkadia High, do you play?” Clarke was quick to change the subject, she didn’t want to start her first day wallowing on what could have been.

“Well princess, yes I do. I play for Palmeiras, we are actually one of the top women’s football teams in the state. I used to play for Manchester City before I came out here. Some of the girls are meeting later at our local bar, if you want you could come with me and we can have a few drinks to celebrate your arrival?” it was a tentative question, Raven was keen to get Clarke to meet her friends now she had met her, she knew she would fit right in plus it was a chance for her new roomy to see what Sao Paulo had to offer on a night.

“Hmmm I’m not sure, I didn’t get much sleep on the plane but I’ll see how I feel” Clarke didn’t like to lie, but she wasn’t good with meeting new people, not anymore, it was a long time since she was the social butterfly, relying on Octavia to do the talking these days whenever she met someone knew.

The rest of the journey to the apartment was very relaxed with easy conversation allowing Clarke to know her new roommate and boss a little more. The relationship between Raven and Lincoln was very relaxed, she could tell that they were more than just colleagues and had a close friendship. It made her feel warm inside, it would be nice to have that kind of relationship with them both eventually, she knew she hadn’t even attempted to establish that kind of relationship with her colleagues back home. That made her feel guilty, they had done nothing wrong.

The car slowed down, and Clarke took a look at the apartment block. It was tall that was for sure, she sure as hell hoped if they lived on the top floor that there was a lift, she didn’t think she would be able to drag her suitcases up even one flight of stairs never mind over twenty. The girls got out the car and said a quick goodbye to Lincoln, he assured Clarke that if she needed anything that he was there and handed her a simcard he had already set up for her. This made Clarke smile, he really was a decent guy and she was totally going to tell Octavia about him, she would adore him.

Once in the lift, to Clarke’s relief, they headed to the top floor where Raven proceded to tell her that the whole top floor was their apartment. As Raven opened the door to the apartment she took Clarkes suitcases and began the tour. From what Clarke could see, it was a pretty awesome apartment.

“I know it seems to be pretty lavish, but it is ran by the school so sometimes guests attend and well the school always want to make an impression” Raven could tell Clarke was baffled by the size of the apartment. Without hesitation, Clarke headed to the garden area it looked peaceful, somewhere she knew she could relax and draw. Taking her phone out, she took a photo to put up on Instagram, making sure she got the Sao Paulo Skyline.

**@clarkegriffin_12 New Start. New Home. Sao Paulo. My own little retreat.**

Instantly likes and comment notifications began to ping on her phone. One from Bellamy made her smile.

**@hotbellamy_blake23 Looking good princess, this is what you need. Now show them how to play rugby & don’t forget to pass on the girls numbers that you don’t want ;) **

Bellamy always knew how to make her smile, she wished he could be here but she knew she had to do this on her own. Putting her phone away she took one more look at the apartment and noticed Raven was clearing things away in the kitchen. Her new roommate seemed lost in her thoughts and it was in that moment she knew she could trust the girl. It was clear Clarke had a lot on her mind but Raven had given her the space she needed to get used to the surroundings.

“Do you want to see your room?” Raven asked Clarke, she had spent a lot of time on the room making it as homely as possible for the brunette and she really hoped she liked it. Grabbing her things, Clarke followed Raven to the second room on the right, as she stepped in it took her breath away. The room was large but cosy. Fairy lights over the bed’s headboard with a desk and wardrobe perfect for all of her clothes. The en-suite was just as cute and it was then she noticed the furniture. Wooden pallets, something that her and Octavia had wanted to do in their apartment but Bellamy hadn’t trusted them to build it. It felt like home, and wiping the tear in her eye she gave Raven a hug.

“Thank you so much, this is just…” She didn’t know how to finish the sentence, the brunette had never met her but seemed to have made the room fit her perfectly.

“Don’t worry about it, I wanted it to feel like home and well this is what my room is like. I’m going to get some more sleep and then I will give you a tour of the area, how does that sound?” Four hours of sleep Raven was running on and she was tired, so she wanted to grab some more sleep for a couple of hours before giving Clarke a tour of Paulista.

With that Clarke began to unpack. That was when it hit her how far away from home she really was. Taking out her photos of her friends, she began placing them around her desk leaving her favourite one of her and Octavia graduating for her nightstand. It made her smile thinking about that day and night.

_“Come on Clarkey one more shot then we can go dance!” She was handed the Tequila, this would be her third after a day of champagne during their graduation celebrations Clarke was feeling it. Octavia was making the most of it, it was rare for Clarke to go out and drink, being so focussed on her rugby. Even though Octavia was back playing football professionally she still managed to find time to drink, hangovers never seemed to affect her._

_“O I’m not sure, I’m really feeling it, you know my body can’t handle alcohol its more used to protein shakes!” She couldn’t deny it, Clarke was already feeling lightheaded. “Last shot I promise!” Octavia pushed the shot into Clarkes hand and she quickly drank it, the burning sensation making her want to gag. Grabbing her cocktail she quickly turned to head to the dancefloor not noticing the guy walking behind her spilling all of her drink over him._

_“Shit im sooooo sorry!” Octavia looked over and saw that Clarke had managed to spill her drink over the hottest guy at university. Of course she did. He smiled and Octavia noticed how he looked Clarke up and down._

_“I’m sorry I’m such a clutz, I will buy you a drink to make up for it, I can’t believe I did this, my friend…I don’t normally drink and we had shots and I didn’t think…”Clarke was a fumbling mess and Octavia was enjoying it, it had been a long time since she saw this side of her best friend._

_“It’s okay, the names Finn. Don’t worry you can spill your drink over me anytime if it means I get to spend some time with you” Clarke finally looked at him. He was attractive that was for sure and she couldn’t help but smile when they finally made eye contact. He noticed, “How about I buy you and your friend a drink and you can join me and my friends, that way I can make sure you don’t go spilling any drinks on any other random guys that happen to be passing by” He was smooth, Octavia could give him that and by the look on Clarkes face she had fallen for it._

That was a lifetime ago, Clarke was a different person back then. Finn was a smooth talker; she fell for it quickly but it wasn’t long before the smooth talking couldn’t fix their problems. That’s why she had rugby, it was something that never needed fixing and she was good at it. Looking around her room, she felt relaxed. This was her home now, this was her new start and she was excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Clarke is settling into the apartment. What do we think so far? Next chapter we will get to see more of Lexa :)


	5. Persausion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finally enters the story :)  
> Clarke agrees to help Raven get the girl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but the next one will have more I just wanted to get this up!

Just one more sprint set to go.

Lexas lungs felt like they were about to explode, but the training she put herself through post her normal training with her team was what got her through her days. She wasn’t the best rugby player in the country for sitting on her laurels. No she trained harder than anyone in her team, even harder than some of the male rugby players she knew. It was determination, and some days it was her own punishment for the mistakes she made in training or in a game. She was a perfectionist and didn’t settle for anything less.

Today was no exception. It had been tackle practice today with her club team and after a week of training with the national team, it had took it’s toll on Lexa. Tackling used to be her strength in the game, but since the Sao Paulo world sevens tournament it was something she shyed away from. She couldn’t risk it and it showed it was the only part of the game her team mates could compete with her. Even comments from her team mates couldn’t bring her to focus on her head positioning and bringing the player down cleanly. She just made sure that she was the one being tackled, it meant there was less risk to her teammates that way.

As she completed her final sprint she quickly grabbed her water bottle and headed to the changing room.

It had been a long day and she knew it wasn’t over yet. After months of pestering, she had finally agreed to go out with Anya and her friends. Knowing Anya would take forever getting ready, Lexa took the opportunity to shower at the gym. Arguing over the shower in the apartment would be pointless and she didn’t want to argue with Anya tonight, they had been doing that a lot recently. Not that it was Anyas fault. Lexa knew her sister was just frustrated that she wouldn’t let her in and kept her problems bottled up and focused on rugby. It was Lincoln she could talk to, albeit due to the fact he didn’t need her to speak, he had been there that day after all.

Once she was ready she quickly checked her phone, not suproised to find messages from Anya. She knew that she couldn’t let Anya down tonight, Lexa hadn’t been the social type since her break up with Costia months ago. It wasn’t that it bothered her, she had known she had been cheating, it wasn’t as though she gave her much attention as her life revolved around rugby. However, it did make Lexa spend more time in the gym and at training then ever before. But today she had promised Anya she would spend some time to get to know the girl she had been crushing on for months.

In all honesty Lexa was curious, it had been a long time since she had seen her sister obsess over a girl. Anya was normally the type to not see anything past two dates, as she got bored easily which would always lead to Lexa and Lincoln running bets as to how long each date would last. Anya was so focussed on her football that a relationship never entered her thoughts, but something was different this time, Lexa could tell. Plus it wasn’t like Anya to be crushing on any of her teammates.

Both girls focus on their sport too much, that it was a surprise to everyone when Lexa entered a relationship with Costia. At 28 Anya was the oldest of the two with Lexa being 24 but they had both developed a strong reputation within their sports as well as with the girls, but never competing with each other. It hadn’t surprised their family when they came out, Lexa thought that because they were so successful within their sports, it didn’t faze their father one bit. Their mother was slightly upset but only because she didn’t understand that they could still have children, which both girls reminded her there was more chance of Lincoln of having a family before them, they were too focussed on sport to consider anything else. Lexa especially, having built a reputation to be commanding on and off the rugby pitch, hence her nickname ‘The Commander’ she got given when she was younger by her siblings which soon became her name on the rugby field.

 **To TheCommander:** Oiii, How was your day? You better still be coming to the Ark later! No backing out, plus I need my little sister tonight, you promised!

 **To AnyaThePain:** Just finished at the gym, yes I remember and you know I always keep my promises ;)

If Lexa was honest, it was the only reason she was still going tonight; keeping her promise.

Anya knew her well and made her promise to be social. It wasn’t that she wasn’t looking forward to spending time with her sister, it also meant spending time with the footballers which always led to Lexa having to prove herself. They always liked to test how strong she was thinking they could beat her, which never happened and she didn’t mind the many questions she got about her training. She was proud of her body and what it could do, perfect toned arms and legs with abs, who wouldn’t be happy.

Both sisters were similar build, growing up they were at times mistaken for twins, but with the extra training Lexa had been doing her leg definition clearly highlighted she was a rugby player. Everyone loved it, everyone but her. In her mind she still had a long way to go, and being at the bar tonight just meant hours away from getting there.

On her way home she stopped for coffee, if she was getting through the evenings event she needed caffeine, not realising if it had been 5 minutes earlier she would’ve bumped into the one person she wasn’t ready to see.

\---------------

Raven had spent the afternoon showing Clarke around Paulista, stopping at her favourite coffee shop on the way back to the apartment. It had been a really nice day, getting to know her roommate who she had quickly learnt was very easy to talk to and get along with. She had learnt that the blonde, was rather outgoing and not afraid of anything but it was obvious to the brunette this was because Clarke comfortable around her. There was something in the blondes eyes when she talked that gave her away. It made Raven want to take her in her arms and tell her that whatever has happened she was there, she didn’t want to see her new roommate sad.

It wasn’t surprising that during their afternoon Clarke had learnt so much about Raven; she was bi, loved football, moving to Sao Paulo was supposed to be just a gap year, she missed England but loved Brasil too much and she had a huge crush on her captain, and that was just the important parts Clarke remembered. Where they lived was pretty much close to everything they needed and this made Clarke feel more at home.

It hadn’t even been a full day and Sao Paulo was slowly becoming a home away from home. As they were entering their apartment, Raven was still going in about how amazing her captain is, “…and her body it’s to die for! She speaks English as well, it’s so cute as her accent is a mix between American and British. Sometimes I get so distracted in training just watching her play, she really gets annoyed at me – it’s such a turn on!”

Clarke smiled, it was so obvious her roommate had it bad. But Raven didn’t know if the feeling was mutual, so they had come up with a plan.

“So you want me to be flirty with you and see if she reacts?” it was simple, but affective.

“Yes if that’s okay? I just want to know if there’s a chance. We flirt but that’s just how we are, like flirty banter you know? So I want to know before I get in too deep” By the looks of it Clarke thought her roommate was already in too deep. Raven had persuaded her to go tonight despite her own insecurities of meeting new people. She was going to help her new roommate get the girl.


	6. Of all the places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go for drinks at the Ark and Clarke finally sees the one person she doesn't want to see!

It didn’t take long for Lexa and Anya to find the girls. They had a regular spot at the Ark at the back of the bar, near the pool table.The Ark was their local and it hadn’t changed much since Lexa was last there, a few more hammocks in the garden area and new chairs, but still the same. It had once been her favourite place to go to with her friends and her brother and sister, a safe haven from the craziness of the city. Sometimes you could be there for hours, it catered for everyone and had a very hipster feel, which Lexa loved. In here she was normal, she wasn’t a rugby player training for the Olympics she was Lexa having drinks with her sister and teammates. 

After quick hellos, she soon found herself playing pool with Niylah, who had always been her favourite out of her sister’s teammates. She was easy to talk too and the two girls always like to challenge each other at pool. She wouldn’t admit it, but Lexa was actually glad she came tonight, it felt like normality for a change.

“Lexa, she hasn’t arrived”. 

They had been at the bar for over an hour now, and Anya was getting very apprehensive. From what Lexa had gathered, the girl Anya was crushing on was typically on time, a British trait which she could tell her sister admired. 

“Anya, calm down I sure she is on her way” Lexa responded after potting the final ball, “How about I go get us some drinks?” It was clear that Anya truly liked this girl, she was never the type to bother about whether someone had arrived or not, especially around her teammates. Normally her older sister kept things under control, especially with her teammates and could come across rather cold. No one knew her sister like she did, the one who had helped her pick herself off their apartment floor in tears on many occasions these past few months. Anya had been her rock, even before Costia left her. It was good to see Anya allow herself to feel something for someone, and Lexa was committed to helping.

\------ 

“Come on Clarke, I am never late, I’ve got a British reputation to maintain” Raven had been waiting for Clarke to get ready for over an hour, she thought all British wanted to be on time but clearly was not a typical Brit. 

“I thought you said Brasilians were never on time?” came the response through her roommates door, with that Raven rolled her eyes. She had said that but didn’t expect Clarke to take that as a sign she could spend forever getting ready, they were supposed to be at the bar an hour ago and she had already received two messages from her captain asking where she was. She was eager to see the face she admired so much. 

“Clarke come on, don’t make me come in there!” The brunette couldn’t understand what was taking Clarke so long, she had showered and got ready in less than an hour. It was always easy for Raven to get ready, it helped that she was naturally beautiful and tanned, and only needed to put on denim shorts and a tank to look stunning. She had added a little makeup, but only because she knew who she would be seeing at the bar, a little lipstick and mascara wouldn’t hurt she thought. 

On the other side of the door, Clarke was having a nightmare. Normally she was relaxed about what to wear to go for a few drinks, but this was her first night in Sao Paulo and she wanted to make a good impression. Seeking out Octavia’s help on skype earlier had been no help either, her best friend was too preoccupied about some guy she had bumped into. 

“Five minutes!” thankfully Clarke had already done her hair and makeup; loose curls with natural make up with emphasis around her eyes to highlight the blueness. However, she was stumped on what to wear. Back home, it would have been simple, skinny jeans and nice blouse emphasising her curves but it was just so hot today that there was no way she would wear her skinny jeans. Opting to wear her denim shorts, she quickly picked a floral shirt to go with it, a trusted outfit she would wear back home during the summers. Not one for heels, she put on her converse. It was a casual but sexy outfit and looking in the mirror quickly before she stepped out her room, she couldn’t help but smile, she looked good. 

“What took you so long?” Raven started as she finally heard her roommate leave her room, it didn’t take the brunette to realise why Clarke had spent so long getting ready, she looked stunning. The blonde’s clothes clung to her curves and truly emphasised her toned arms and legs. If Raven was into blondes she would have trouble being able to hold it together. 

“I take it back; I am not the hottest girl of this apartment!” she complimented Clarke. The blonde just smiled, she wasn’t used to compliments. 

“Come on Raven I thought we had a bar to get too!” Clarke winked, which was met with Raven rolling her eyes and muttering under her breath “girls”. 

The walk to the bar wasn’t long, but Clarke felt her nerves build up. Thankfully, she could sense her roommate was nervous too albeit for completely different reasons. Once they arrived at the bar, Clarke's nerves got worse, it didn’t help that it was extremely busy, and insiticntly thinking she was with Octavia she grabbed Ravens hand. 

“Are you okay Clarke?” As soon as the blonde had grabbed her hand, Raven was concerned. It was clear from earlier that day that the blonde was comfortable around her but got nervous in larger crowds but the brunette had respected her space and not asked about it. 

“Yeah, can we just get a drink first? I’m feeling pretty nervy”. Raven held her hand tightly and took her to the bar, as much as she wanted to see her friends it was important to her that her roommate was comfortable. They got their drinks, and a shot too for extra courage, neither girl was sure who needed it more, and headed to the back of the bar where Raven knew everyone would be. As they got closer, Clarke grabbed the brunettes hand again. Raven didn’t mind and gave her a reassuring squeeze “It’s going to be fine princess, I am here” she whispered as the girls came into sight. 

\------ 

Everyone was laughing at something that happened earlier in the week at training, when Anya grabbed Lexa’s arm quickly, “Shes here” following Anya’s line of sight she noticed two girls heading in their direction. The brunette, who she assumed was the girl her sister was crushing on, look extremely hot, long brown hair, tanned, very much her sisters type and carried herself confidently. The look her sister was giving her, confirmed it, she couldn’t take her eyes off her. Looking back at the two girls, Lexa noticed the blonde, and although the lights in the bar were dimmed she couldn’t help but feel as though she had seen her before. As soon as she looked into her blue eyes she was hooked, and then it hit her and she suddenly felt sick.

“Whats up bitches!!!” Anya’s crush introduced herself. Lexa  couldn’t look up, she stared at her drink thinking of excuses that her sister would believe so that she could leave. She couldn’t stay here. 

“Your late!” Anya scowled at Raven with a friendly smile to cover up her frustration of how long the girl had her waiting. 

“Yeah my bad, my new roommate, Clarke, didn’t get the memo that typical brits are on time – clearly in one day she has taken up some Brasilian traits!” Raven smirked, giving Anya a quick wink but didn’t let go of her roommates hand, which Anya had already noticed and felt a sweep of jealousy run through her. It was then Anya, and everyone else, noticed the blonde by Raven’s side and no matter the sexuality of the girls, everyone took in how hot the girl was. Clarke blushed and waved awkwardly, but it was Anya, who normally wouldn’t be the first to welcome anyone, embraced the girl into a hug. “Bem vinda!” she whispered to Clarke but loud enough for Raven to hear who smiled and tried to ignore how it made her heart feel warm.

Once Anya had welcomed Clarke, she began introducing the girl to everyone else in the room and didn’t fail to notice that her younger sister had suddenly disappeared. All the girls seemed to want to get to know Clarke so it gave her chance to find out where her sister had got too. 

** To TheCommander: Where the fuck have you gone!?!  **

** To AnyaThePain: I’m just at the bar chill! Do you want a drink?  **

** To TheCommander: Well you disappeared without a word so what am I supposed to think!  Get a pitcher and we can drink with Reyes and the new girl!  **

The thought of drinking with the blonde, made Lexa feel sick. Once Anya had embraced her into a hug she took that opportunity to head to the bar for some shots. She didn’t want to meet the blonde sober, she needed some courage. Ordered the pitcher, and some more shots for herself, she headed back to the girls, it was to no surprise that Anya had sat herself next to Raven and Clarke, it was now or never for Lexa. 

“Here you go, told you I was at the bar!” She passed the drinks to her sister and quickly joined Niylah at the pool table, before Clarke noticed her. Anya was too preoccupied in talking to the two girls, she just smiled and let her be which was a relief. It was going to take all of her genius to avoid the blonde for the rest of the night but Lexa was sure she could do it. 

\------- 

It had been a whirlwind of introductions for Calrke, but she was glad she found herself drinking with Raven and Anya. The rest of the girls went about there own thing briefly joining in their conversation. Being in a relaxed atmosphere settled Clarkes nerves from earlier which made it easier for her talk to Anya, who she could totally understand why her roommate had a crush on her.

“So Clarke, what brings you to Sao Paulo?” Anya wanted to get to know Clarke, and most importantly if she would be someone she would have to compete with for Raven’s attention. 

“Well I am here to coach rugby, I will be working at Arkadia High with Reyes here and Saracens Bandeirantes” 

“That’s awesome, my sister plays for that team shes actually in the Brasil squad too, did you used to play?”. 

Panic started to set in for Clarke but she started to count her breathes, a trick O had told her, she didn’t want to talk about playing but it was now or never. 

“Yes I used to play for England actually, I was a contracted player after winning the World Cup and played at the World Rugby Sevens…” She was nervous, her heart was racing, she had only talked about this to her close friends and family. Raven held her hand and she tightly squeezed it, it was time she let her roommate know and with that Anya who was clearly important to the girl. 

“Its okay Clarke you don’t have to tell us” Raven reassured her. 

“I want to, your my roommate you need to know. Anyways as I was saying, I was playing in the World Rugby Sevens, it was actually here in Sao Paulo. I got injured and decided to focus on coaching” She knew she wasn’t telling the whole truth, it was still too much to go into details. 

“That sucks, I hate injuries but from what I hear you’re a pretty awesome coach!” Raven hugged her, she was no fool she knew there was more to it than a simple injury but Clarke would explain when she was ready. 

“Yeah injuries suck, I nearly considered not playing football when I did my ACL for the first time” Anya explained, she had never admitted that to anyone.

“Really Cap? I didn’t know” Suddenly Raven saw a different side to the brunette, she just assumed that her captain was fierce and strong. 

“Yeah don’t act all surprised Reyes, I am not completely invincible! How about we join my sister at the pool table, surely you Brits should be good at that and could help me beat her?” Fun was needed Anya felt and well Clarke was hot and was totally her sisters type, she may as well introduce her.

“I’m awesome at pool, we used to have a table where we trained, no one could beat me” Clarke winked. 

The girls made their way to the pool table, where Lexa was potting the last ball to beat Niylah yet again.

"Man, Lexa do you ever let anyone else win!” Niylah was frustrated and stormed to the bar, one of these days she just wanted to wipe the smirk of Lexa’s face.

“Hey sis, fancy your chances against us?” Anya didn’t give Lexa chance to reply and started racking up. It was then that she looked straight into those blue eyes. 

Clarke couldn’t believe it. Of all the places in Brasil, she had found herself in the same city and bar, talking to the sister of the girl that had ruined her life, and she was about to play pool with her. “I can’t….I got to go.” She turned to walk out the bar.

“What the hell Clarke?” Reyes ran after her not entirely sure what had happened. They were just about to play pool and as soon as the blonde laid eyes on Lexa she froze and said she had to leave. Raven didn’t understand. 

“Reyes is everything okay?” Anya chased after the two girls, unsure what was happening and oblivious to how uncomfortable her sister suddenly became. Lexa however, was too drunk to care. Unlike Clarke she had noticed the girl early on and had drank her emotions away, so what the blond stormed off when she saw her, she had half expected more of a reaction if she was brutally honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they finally see each other...so what are you guys thinking?  
> Next chapter more of what happened will start to come to light!  
> Also I love Anya trying to impress Raven - still debating on how they will admit their feelings, suggestions?


	7. Mornings are better with Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pancakes make Clarke smile.  
> Octavia explains everything to Raven which leads to the two coming up with a plan.
> 
> Sorry for any grammar mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really short chapter, very stressful week but this will lead on to the next few chapters where we will finally find out what happened :)

It was 9am when Anya woke realising she wasn’t alone in her bed. Or so she thought was her bed. Looking around the room she soon realised she was not in fact in her room. This startled her and she quickly turned to see a sleeping Reyes, who it turns out liked to cuddle. The night came back to her, after Clarke had stormed out the bar she followed Raven to catch up with the blonde. Once they found her she was in tears and having a panic attack which Anya took it upon herself to try and calm her down. It led to the girls heading back to Raven’s apartment as it was closer, spending most of the evening consoling the blonde who eventually tired and fell asleep in Raven’s arms. Both the brunettes put her to bed and decided to open a bottle of wine.

Through it all not once did Clarke explain what had got her so upset, and this worried Anya and Raven, who spent the rest of the night trying to piece together what could have happened. It all bottled down to the blonde seeing Lexa, as that’s when Raven had noticed the sudden change in her roommate, but why would that affect her they lived in two different countries and had never met before. Or so they thought.

It had been a nightmare, Clarke was sure of it.

But it wasn’t, she had seen her and it brought it all back.

After spending most of the night in tears ad trying to control her panic attacks, sleep had been difficult to come by. She felt guilty, that she didn’t explain to Raven and Anya but she couldn’t find the words. There was only one person she could talk to.

**To MyRockO: O are you free? I need to talk to you.**

If anyone could help her process what happened, it was Octavia. She knew she wouldn’t need to explain too much; her best friend saw exactly what she went through.

**To PrincessClarke: What’s wrong?? Are you okay? Skype?**

Picking up her laptop, she could see Octavia was already calling her and without hesitation she answered just seeing her best friends face made her feel more at ease.

“Clarke what’s wrong?” Just one look, and Octavia could tell something wasn’t right.

“O, I saw her” Already Clarke could feel the tears forming.

“Saw who Clarke?” Hoping that it wasn’t who she thought it was, Octavia gave her friend the chance to explain but she knew there was only one thing that would make her this upset.

“Lexa…Lexa fucking Woods!!!! O she’s here, and what’s worse her sister is the girl my roommate is pretty much in love with, I can’t do this I need to come home” Tears just escaped her, and she didn’t know what to do, all she wanted was her best friend, she let it all out not realising what her best friend was saying or hearing the door to her room open. It was only when warm arms wrapped around her did she realise she wasn’t alone. She didn’t even look to see who it was she just let herself be taking in and let her tears flow. That was how she stayed for some time.

It broke Octavia’s heart to see her best friend like that, and when she saw a stranger give her the comfort she wished she could do she decided that she had enough of her friend’s stubbornness. Quickly asking the stranger her name, she realised it was Clarkes roommate who was checking to see if the blonde wanted breakfast. Octavia began telling Raven why the blonde was so distraught, beginning with the injury and how this completely changed Clarke with the only coping mechanism she had was through putting all the blame on one person. The one person she never thought she would see. The person she saw last night. Which gave the two girls the chance to come up with a plan. Satisfied Octavia ended the Skype call so that she could put things in motion for the plan to work.

After some time, Clarke ran out of tears, and realised she was clinging on tightly to Raven.

“Shit… sorry Rae”

“It’s okay princess, your friend explained. She told me to tell you she will call you later, and she loves you. Also you’ve been holding out on me, your best friend is hot” Trust Raven to change the mood.

“What did Octavia tell you?”

“Well I now know why you walked off last night, and why you are so upset. It’s okay I won’t say anything, I am your friend, but you can always talk to me and you know what I think will cheer you up? PANCAKES!” With the mention of pancakes, Clarke smiled. Octavia had been sure to let Raven know that the best way to make the blonde smile was pancakes.

Not letting go of Raven, Clarke followed her into the kitchen where Anya had already began making the girls their breakfast. Without saying a word, Anya stopped what she was doing and went over to Clarke to give her a hug. This set panic in the blonde, did she know?.

“Clarke is still feeling pretty upset, so let’s make a morning of pancake eating and Netflix. What do you think Anya?” this reassured Clarke that there was only two people in the room that truly knew the reason behind her tears.

“Sounds like a plan!!!”

**To TheCommander: Ola! I am at Raven’s and will be staying here for most of the day, but I will be back later before the party.**

It wasn’t normally like Anya to check in with her sister, but this morning she had noticed a number of missed calls and messages, but right now she wanted to stick with the brunette that couldn’t stop making her heart flutter and in turn that meant being there for Clarke.

The rest of the morning the girls spent eating pancakes whilst watching OITNB, which to Raven’s and Anya’s surprise Clarke had never seen before so it was really important they rectified this. During the fifth or sixth episode both Clarke and Anya had fallen asleep which gave Raven the chance to put her and Octavia’s plan into action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think the plan will be?


	8. Chapter 8: The New Coach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa finds out that she can't keep her distance from Clarke.
> 
> Sorry it took so long to get this up - currently writing my dissertation for my masters! 
> 
> As always let me know your thoughts :)

**To TheCommander: Ola! I am at Raven’s and will be staying here for most of the day, but I will be back later before the party**.

Reading the message Lexa sighed with relief, at least she wouldn’t have to deal with her sister this morning with her already banging headache. Drinking so much last night was a mistake, as she stepped out of bed quite clearly having alcohol still in her system. Seeing Clarke was a strange feeling, the last time she saw her was in a hospital room, not that the blonde knew she had been there. She practically had to beg Lincoln to take her once she got away from the team just so she knew the girl was okay. It only made matters worse, as she heard what the DR said and saw Clarkes reaction, even though she didn’t know the girl she felt the pain.

After showering, and eating her usual breakfast Lexa decided she would spend the day watching Netflix. Something she barely did but she needed a distraction. After five episodes of OITNB – she had never watched it before – she decided she needed to talk.

**To AnyaThePain: What time are you home?**

**To JediLincoln: Fancy coming over?**

Lincoln was the only one she felt comfortable talking to but knew that wouldn’t happen with Anya around.

**To TheCommander: Not sure, we are Netflix binging. Clarke is still not great so I’m helping Raven make her smile. Why do you need me for anything?**

That made Lexa feel even worse. Clarke shouldn’t be feeling sad, she had just moved here and should be exploring the city not couped up with her roommate and Anya. It was obvious Clarke had recognised her last night, and what bothered Lexa more was the fact that Anya was there to help her, why did that bother her so much?

**To TheCommander: Yes I can come over in ten? Ill grab some Acai on the way :)**

Man her brother knew exactly how to make her hangover go away, just like he knew how to help her that day.

_Walking out onto the pitch Lexa could feel the nervous energy within her team. They hadn’t got this far in the series before. It was a big deal, and an even bigger deal for her, it was a game against England after all. As she went over to meet the captain, she couldn’t help but glance over to Clarke Griffin. It was no secret that she had spent a lot of time watching the blonde play and seeing her in person warming up, gave Lexa butterflies. She hadn’t felt like that before, not for someone she would be playing against._

_Shaking her head she tried to focus, she couldn’t allow distractions. Shaking the England captains hand, Emily Scarrett, another player she admired but didn’t get butterflies which she noticed, she turned to her team for their pre-match talk._

_“Okay girls, this is it. Take all the nerves and channel them. We are a team and we play as one. No one gets left behind on their own on this pitch. I believe in you all. We got this!” She quickly put her hands in the middle of the circle, joined by her team mates. After taking deep breaths she prayed for the strength for the game._

_Taking her position on the field, she realised Clarke was her opposite number. Nerves filled her, but Lexa never got pre-match nerves so it was a little strange. A quick succession of jumps settled her before the whistle blew. This was it. 20 minutes of rugby. A chance for her team to make history. Little did she know that by the end of the day she would find comfort in her brother who found her sat on her own by the side of the pitch sobbing._

If it hadn’t been for Lincoln that day, everyone would have seen the sobbing mess she had become. All of her team mates, even to this day, thought she didn’t care about what happened that what happens on the pitch stays on the pitch. She had made sure she had kept her commanding presence maintaining the role of the captain. It was all an act, that was Lexa it had always been that way.

“Hey Lexa, how you feeling?” Lincoln heading straight to the kitchen and began dishing out the Acai he had brought with him – banana and leite ninho just how her sister liked it.

“So much better now I have my hangover saviour here!” Lexa quickly grabbed her Acai – it surely was the best thing to cure her hangover. Both siblings headed over to the sofa and continued watching Netflix not saying too much. It was obvious to Lincoln that something was bothering his sister, he can’t remember the last time she had a hangover not now she was so focussed on her training for the Olympics. He knew better to bring anything up – time was the best method when it came to his sister it was why her and Anya didn’t have many heart to heart as Anya didn’t have the patience of a saint like he did.It wasn’t long before Lexa broke the silence. 

“So I met your new colleague last night” Without having to ask, Lincoln knew why Lexa got drunk last night, he was expected the girls to meet as Raven was clearly into their older sister but hadn’t expected it to happen so soon.

“Lex, I’m sorry I should’ve warned you that she was here and that Raven would most likely invite her our last night. To be honest I didn’t think you would be out, you know you’ve avoided socialising” It was true. It had been months since Lexa ventured to their local bar, months of pestering from Anya to help her get their sister out. 

“It’s okay Linc, I mean I was surprised yes, but because how it made me feel you know…I didn’t talk to her, I didn’t get chance too…she walked off as soon as she saw me” The look in Lexas eyes, Lincoln could tell it hurt that Clarke had walked away. He was her brother and knew her so well. He knew that her admiration of the player had been more than admiration, even before they played against each other. He saw how she was that day, and how she didn’t care about playing anymore solely focussed in knowing the blonde was okay. His sister held onto the guilt and the hurt all this time thinking of ways of making amends, so Clarke walking away would of hurt and he didn’t blame the hangover his sister currently had. 

“How do you feel?” The question surprised Lexa. How did she feel? Seeing the blonde walk away hurt, that was for sure but it was also confusing seeing her. Lexa was very good at compartmentalising her emotions, even more so if there was limited reminders, but seeing the blonde made it difficult to turn off any emotion she had about that day and about Clarke. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. It was weird to see her. It was scary too, I didn’t know what to expect. I drank to give me the confidence to maybe, you know, say something to her. But before I could she left and by the sounds of it she was pretty upset to see me…I don’t blame her really. I guess I’m a constant reminder of what happened. I think I’m going to keep my distance so I probably won’t see her again anytime soon” It was something Lexa had decided earlier. The only reason they had met was due to going out for drinks with Anya, so Lexa would make sure that this wouldn’t be a common occurrence. 

“Well that may be difficult…Lexa she’s going to be coaching at your club” With that Lexa’s heart dropped. Clarke was going to be her coach? This couldn’t be happening, her only focus these days was her rugby and she trained exceptionally hard with her club when she wasn’t on international duty. She knew Clarke would be coaching at the school, but she must of completely blanked out if Lincoln mentioned anything about coaching the club team. “I thought you knew, I told you I’m sure I did”

“Yeah I forgot…Linc what am I going to do? She hates me!” He couldn’t help it, he felt sorry for his sister, he had seen her truly allow this to swallow her up until recently where she had finally began to get back to herself. “Hate can’t last forever Lex, give it time” He wrapped her in a hug and allowed her to cry, praying silently that somehow that these two girls could sort things out. They had never truly met but he just knew there was something between them.

 

* * *

 

 

Today was Monday, and after the weekends events Clarke was glad her first day at work had arrived. She felt a lot better, spending the day with Raven and Anya truly helped and it was so obvious those two girls were in deep. That evening Octavia Skyped her and gave her some exciting news, she would be coming to Sao Paulo in a month, taking Ravens old job. It had been something that Clarke knew about before she left but Octavia had been hesitant to take it due to her brother but he had come to his senses, saying he was just uncomfortable with his two favourite girls fleeing the nest. Bellamy was a softie really. This meant her first day at work was spent helping Lincoln and raven organise all of Octavia’s documents as well as putting together a class timetable and plans for a rugby launch. 

Arkadia High was a pretty nice school, with great facilities for all sports and Clarke soon felt like she was back in England especially with the signs being in English. It was after all an English school with all classes taught in English giving the students the full English experience as well as developing their English skills. However, Clarke wanted to learn the Portuguese language so she began translating her lesson plans which did mean it took her longer than usual. By 5pm she realised she only had an hour before she had to be at training for her first session with Saracens Bandeirantes. Thankfully Lincoln was giving her a ride. 

** From SexyReyes: Good luck tonight roomie, show them how awesome you are and I’ll see you when you get back!  **

** From MyRockO: You’ll do awesome tonight, let me know how it goes! Miss you! **

Clarke completely forgot Raven had saved her number in her phone and was not supposed by the name, she wasn’t sure Anya would appreciate it. She couldn’t help it but her friend’s messages helped her relax whilst waiting for Lincoln, she was nervous which she wasn’t normally as coaching was her thing but coaching in a different language was a whole different ball game and that was what unnerved her. 

“Hey Linc” Clarke quickly jumped into his car as she found it in the school car park, he had already finished for work 15 minutes earlier. 

“Good evening Clarke, how’s your first day been?” What Clarke didn’t realise he had spent the past 15 minutes persuading Lexa not to abandon training tonight, the band aid needed to be ripped for these two and the sooner the better as far as he was concerned. He was also glad to hear that Raven felt the same, who he spoke to earlier in the day, and already began hatching a plan. 

“Awesome, actually glad to get stuck in. I won’t lie I’m nervous about tonight though!” For some reason it was just easy for Clarke to talk to Lincoln, just like Raven and Anya to some extent. It was starting to feel like they were her friends not just her work colleagues. 

“Don’t be, the team is pretty awesome. Tonight the male team will also be training, they mixed the teams for your arrival, so feel free to do whatever you want” He had been glad the club was mixing their teams, less chance of Lexa feeling uncomfortable but he knew that wouldn’t always be the case, and with Clarke past experiences he wouldn’t be surprised if she opted to focus on the female team. 

It didn’t take them long to get to where the club trained, and Clarke quickly made sure her hair and make-up didn’t show the long day she already had. There were quite a few people already there, and Clarke followed Lincoln over to a small group. 

“Hello everyone, this is Clarke” What surprised Clarke was the fact Lincoln was speaking English and it must of shown on her face. “Don’t worry, most of the coaches and players speak good English at the club” Lincoln whispered to her. Introductions were made and Clarke quickly learnt that there was a lot of excitement surrounding her being here, some of the other coaches and players having watched her play previously, thankfully no one mentioned what happened. It didn’t take her long to notice more people arrive, and the succession of introductions even photos that occurred. Turns out Clarke couldn’t leave behind her playing success after all.

“I’m just going to set up” She quickly told Lincoln. 

“I’ll help you!” it was one of the players who had been talking to the coaches. Clarke noticed he was extremely attractive, but she quickly let go of those thoughts – she had morals after all, one being never date anyone you coach. 

“So how are you finding Brasil?” 

“I’ve only been here a few days so it’s all a bit strange but so far so good” It was a question that had been asked a lot today, so Clarke had pretty much memorised her answer, even attempted it in Portuguese earlier with one of the students. 

“I am sure you will love it; we are really glad you are here. I know the girls especially with you being the England player Lexa made them all watch last year…winning the world cup that must have been awesome” Clarke didn’t reply she just smiled and nodded, did he just say Lexa? And why would she get the girls to watch her play? She silently prayed that bumping into Lexa did not mean this was her club, there was plenty of other clubs surely. After putting the last cone out, she thanked her handsome helper – she could still look she thought, and headed back to the now huge group that had formed. 

“Okay ladies and gentlemen…” The club president began addressing the teams. “As you all know tonight we will be welcoming a new coach, who will be joining us, Clarke would you care to introduce yourself?” 

Not being great with introductions she tried to ignore her nerves. “Yeah sure, well hello everyone, not really great with introductions. I’m Clarke, I’m from England, I’m single and I’m a lightweight but don’t want to end up alone with cats….wait this isn’t speed dating?” She winked, she was going to use her banter to get her through this and she was pleased to see everyone laugh. Maybe she was good at introductions after all. 

“I am also very sarcastic but serious which is really important for you guys to know especially when I am coaching” looking around the group she could tell this team took their rugby seriously, it made her excited.

“On a serious note, I arrived on Saturday and I have already had an emotional rollercoaster so I am really excited to start coaching tonight. I have been playing rugby since university and I have been privileged to represent my country until an injury earlier this year” It wasn’t news to them, she could tell by their reaction and that explained why no one mentioned it earlier but it would make things easier she thought. “Anyways I love coaching and I love to help teams and players reach their potential. My sessions will be high in intensity developing your skills and awareness, if you have any question don’t hesitate to ask me even if it’s away from the rugby pitch” 

Honestly Clarke was an open and honest coach, and she wanted them to know that is how she would be, it had been known that she would offer advice at 4am before a big match to one of her previous players. With that she began giving instructions for the session, and it was then she noticed her. How she hadn’t noticed her before, she never knew but she chose to act like she wasn’t there. It was how she was going to get through this. 

* * *

 

When she arrived at training, there was already a large group gathered and she could tell that introductions had already been made. Thankfully, Lincoln had told her Clarke was the new coach otherwise she would’ve felt completely uncomfortable which her teammates would soon work out. Just like Anya, Lexa had a professional approach to the rugby team, never giving much away and training extremely hard, if not sometimes too hard. The way she held herself in every session had earned her the respect from both teams, and she wasn’t going to let go of that. She had the nickname as the commander after all. 

Five minutes into the warm up it was evident that there was a buzz within the team with excited talking going on but it was lost on Lexa. She was focussed and she wasn’t going to allow any distractions. True to her word, Clarke’s sessions would be filled with high intensity, and it was clear just from the warm up where most of the male and female players were panting. Not Lexa, she kept her cool and listened intently to the next instructions. 

A lot of the session was going to be on passing and beating the defender, and Lexa couldn’t help but smirk, she could beat any of the players here with her eyes closed. “Okay, guys I that’s great work but I want to see more pressure given from the defender. Let’s not make this easy, as that’s how we better ourselves. I’ll demonstrate….Lexa you can be the attacker” 

It took Lexa a second to realise what Clarke had just asked, slightly surprised the blonde acknowledged her. Picking up the ball she walked to the activity area and looked beyond Clarke to where she was going to place the ball. This was going to be easy, no-one on this pitch at beaten her on a 1V1 before. 

As the whistle blew she began to jog slowly picking up her pace with the view to draw Clarke in with enough time to execute an effective power step with enough speed to get to the tryline within the area. Little did she know, was that Clarke already knew exactly where the brunette was aiming to get to and she applied enough pressure with correct speed and control to tackle Lexa to the ground, with 10 metres left before the tryline. 

Everyone looked in shock, this had never happened before, no-one had beaten Lexa on a 1V1. 

Holding out her hand Clarke helped the brunette up, “And that is also how you tackle properly” she said but only loud enough for the brunette to hear before addressing the team giving her instructions on how they too could execute and effective defence making it harder to beat for the attacker. Those words hit Lexa like a knife, and she walked away from training quickly grabbing her stuff to head home. It was childish but right now she couldn’t allow her teammates to see her embarrassment and sadness. What could she do to make things right?


	9. Uberlandia Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month later, Lexa and Clarke have to meet before heading to Uberlandia - can they be civil?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, I know you guys thought Clarke was being harsh but maybe this chapter will make up for that. They still have a long way to go but it is clear that they both feel something :)

It had been a month since Clarke had arrived in Sao Paulo, and what a month it had been. Settling into her job was really easy and she soon begun to love being at the school, even if planning the launch had become stressful – it was two weeks away. Even coaching at the club became enjoyable, Lincoln had been right and given the choice she opted to be the head coach for the female team, as well as implemented extra strength and conditioning sessions which only one player seemed to enjoy – Lexa. Thankfully they kept out of each others way, with Clarke only giving her instructions as she would any of her players. If the blonde was honest she admired the brunette’s determination and dedication – it reminded of herself, but she wouldn’t admit that to anyone.

The rest of the team she developed quick friendships with, which helped her hugely in settling in and it wouldn’t be long until her best friend Octavia would be joining her. She couldn’t believe it when O called her with her news.

_2 weeks ago_

_“Clarke I took the offer!” Octavia was grinning she was so excited to be heading to Sao Paulo soon. When Clarke had been offered the job at Arkadia High, so had Octavia to replace Raven’s position after promotion. But the feisty brunette had been hesitant, she was on the fringes of being selected for England and she didn’t want to mess it up. However, after spending a month of training and talking with her club coaches she realised that playing international football wasn’t her thing. Plus her on and off relationship with Atom had finally come to an end. The turning point being when Clarke was so upset on her first weekend, and meeting Raven – albeit on Skype. Octavia knew she wanted to go out and play over in Brasil and coach football and she would get to be with her best friend._

_“Seriously!? O this is amazing!!! But wait this isn’t because of you know when I first got here? Because I was really emotional that weekend and I’m totally cool now” Clarke was worried her best friend was doing this to look out for her, after all that’s what they had always done growing up._

_“No, look playing internationally just isn’t something I want to do anymore, I mean let’s face it I’m not great with sticking to rules, I only just manage it at my club and it would be so different. I saw how strict you had to be when you were playing and I just think it would take the enjoyment out of it. Anyways it’s all sorted I will be there in a month, we will be roomies again!”_

Octavia would be here in two weeks, she would be living with Raven and Clarke and be playing for Palmeiras. The apartment was slowly being taking over by footballers, especially as Anya was around most of the time. Clarke still didn’t understand why the two brunettes hadn’t got together, they were still avoided their obvious feelings but it had meant that Clarke and Anya had developed a good friendship. With both Raven and Anya, Clarke had soon settled in and tonight she would be going on her first away game with the rugby team.

They were heading to Uberlandia, which was in Minas Gerais, another state of Brasil to play a friendly with their female team. It would consist of a mini sevens tournament and a fifteens development game led by Clarke. She was excited, as she would get to see another part of Brasil and they had planned to stay an extra day so the Uberlandia girls could take them to a nearby waterfall. The only problem being was that the captain and coach would need to sit down and discuss player selection, something which Clarke was not looking forward too as the team captain was Lexa.

Both girls agreed to meet at the park close to where they lived, and as Clarke heading there she began to think about the past month and their interactions. It had been minimal after Clarke had showed the Brunette up at the first training. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that Lexa quickly left the session afterwards and she did feel slightly guilty but she wanted the brunette to know that she wasn’t ready to establish any form of relationship with her like she had done with the other players. It hurt seeing the brunette, as it was constant reminder of how her dreams had been shattered. Deep down she knew it was a mistake, something she could easily have done but it didn’t stop her hating her for it and no matter what she did she couldn’t let go of it.Today would be the first time that they would actually have a conversation and it unnerved Clarke as she truly wanted to be as professional as possible.

Entering the park, she headed towards the botanical garden area where Lexa had suggested they would meet. Taking in her surroundings Clarke was mesmerised at how beautiful the park was, and even though it was surrounded by the tall buildings of Sao Paulo, it felt like you had escaped the hustle of the city. It was peaceful and the blonde made a note to herself that she would come back here with her sketchbook – she loved to draw a hobby that, since that day she hadn’t found the drive to do. 

It didn’t take long to find Lexa, she wasn’t in her usual training kit so Clarke was taken aback. Never really looking at the brunette before, Clarke realised how beautiful she was, breath taking actually. Her hair was loose with braids and she was wearing skinny jeans which Clarke didn’t understand as it was extremely hot, with a tight green polo emphasising her arms and bringing out her eyes. The brunette was clearly focussed on the book she was reading and didn’t notice the blonde approaching, which gave Clarke the time to take her all in trying to ignore the butterflies that had appeared – she hadn’t had that happen to her before, not even when she would see Finn dressed in a suit. But that wasn’t right, this is the girl that had shattered her dreams there was no way she could feel anything even if the girl was attractive, could she? Shaking off her thoughts, Clarke approached the brunette. 

“Hello Lexa” The brunette looked up, and as soon as Clarke stared into her eyes she gasped, they were beautiful and she knew she could get lost in them. 

“Clarke” The rolling of the K, sent quivers down the blondes body, this was the first time she had heard Lexa speak her name and she wouldn’t mind hearing it again. 

“Would you like to sit down?” Quickly remembering why she was here, Clarke composed herself and sat beside the brunette who had placed her book on the side. 

“Right let’s make this quick then, I still need to pack for the weekend” taking out her notepad, Clarke got out her notes that she had already made regarding the team. 

“Here are my thoughts for the selection for both the sevens and then fifteens development game, what do you think?” She passed over her notes to Lexa who began reading them. The furrow of Lexa’s brow as she was reading, made her look extremely cute and Clarke smiled, if she was any ordinary girl, she would probably be hitting on her right now. 

“Your assessment of the players is rather accurate; the selections you’ve made will be appropriate and exactly how I would of chosen” Lexa was being careful with her words, she was genuinely surprised at how accurate Clarke’s assessment of the team was, and was also very aware of how the close proximity to her coach was making her feel. She honestly thought this meeting would consist of disagreements based on their previous interaction, but Clarke truly was a good coach, one of the best coaches Lexa had met. 

“Thanks, obviously this is injury and fatigue dependant so it may change” Lexa hummed in agreement, whilst going over Clarke’s notes again. The coach was very detailed in her assessment and she noticed the comments next to her name being surprisingly positive. “Do you have anything to add?” Lexa looked up then and all she could see was blue, Clarke was looking at her intently.

“Well not really you’ve pretty much covered all options, you’re a good coach Clarke” There it was again, the click of the K causing Clarke to blush at the compliment. “Thank you Lexa” the blonde tried to sweep her hair away so that Lexa couldn’t see her blush, too late the brunette noticed and smiled. 

“Clarke, do you want to go back and pack? It seems we don’t need to discuss anything more as you have it covered and I don’t want to keep you” It surprised Clarke how she actually didn’t want to leave, yes she had to pack but for some reason she found herself wanting to talk to Lexa more and she knew there was one thing that needed to be said, but couldn't find the words.

“Yes your right, I’m so last minute with everything Raven and Anya are going to kill me as I told them I had already packed so I could go for food with them, now I’m probably going to have to bail on them” It was true, Clarke had promised the girls she would pack so she could get food before leaving for the weekend. This week had been extremely hectic that she had barely had anytime spare to spend with her friends and she knew they would be disappointed if she bailed. 

“Well how about I grab my things and come help you?” Lexa was hesitant with the question and she honestly wanted to spend more time with the blonde, plus it wouldn’t hurt to see her sister before leaving. Lexa’s suggestion caught Clarke of guard. It wasn’t as though they spent much time together or wanted to for that matter, but now that they had finally spoken, even though it was about rugby and not the huge elephant hanging over them, the blonde felt like it would be ok and she was Anya’s sister after all. 

“Okay but I warn you I’m really bad at packing” and with that they both heading towards Lexa’s apartment picking up her bag which had previously been packed earlier in the morning and heading towards Clarkes. 

* * *

 

Being around Clarke was strange, Lexa could tell her heart was pounding so hard she wouldn’t be surprised the blonde could hear it. They had been making casual conversation on their way to Clarke’s after grabbing her bag quickly. Clarke had refused to head up to Lexa’s apartment, saying she had a phone call to make which didn’t bother the brunette. 

“Now I understand why Anya is around all the time, we are literally neighbours!” Clarke exclaimed. It was true, they lived in neighbouring apartment blocks with rows of restaurants and bars in between. 

“So Anya has been around yours a lot?” They had stepped into the lift which would take them upto Clarke’s apartment. If Lexa had been honest she had suspected that’s where her sister had been going to, but she had been so busy with training she hadn’t asked. 

“Yeah pretty much, I’ve kind of just got used to her being there like she’s another roommate and it’s been nice to hang out when Raven has been late from work or something” Lexa smiled, she realised now she hadn’t been much company to her sister who had clearly found a friend in Clarke. She had been too wrapped up in herself she didn’t even know if Anya and Raven were dating. 

“So are they, you know together?” Lexa asked the blonde. This took Clarke by surprise, surely she would know with Anya being her sister. “No, although it is so obvious they like each other, I’m tempted to lock them in a room until they admit their feelings” Clarke laughed, thinking to herself that would probably what would need to happen with those two. Lexa smiled, she felt stupid having to ask and she made a not to herself that she would spend more time with Anya after the weekend. 

Following Clarke into the apartment, Lexa fell in love with the place immediately, no wonder Anya spent her time here, she thought. “My bedroom is through here, may as well start packing. I apologise now my room is a mess, it’s been one of those weeks”. Both girls entered the room, and Lexa found herself standing by the doorway unsure what to do. “You can sit on the desk if you want?” Clarke noticed the Lexa’s awkwardness as she got out her bag and started gathering some clothes together. 

“So what do I need for the weekend?” She hoped this would get Lexa to be more relaxed, she had offered to help afterall. “Well clothes…” Clarke rolled her eyes, this wasn’t the time for sarcasm and if she was honest she was surprised the brunette had a sarcastic bone in her body. 

“Okay, well you will need clothes to coach in, to drink in on the evening, sleep in, and then clothes for the waterfall” Lexa began explaining.

“Waterfall…I forgot about that” Clarke began looking for some clothes, which was a lot easier than she thought and she made sure she had two outfits for the evening so she had options, a dress and her denim shorts/blouse combo. 

Lexa began looking around Clarke’s room, passing her things that had been thrown across the room that the blonde couldn’t decide if they were needed or not. It was clear that Clarke had made her room her sanctuary, with pictures of her friends and family. Looking closely, Lexa found herself smiling at the photos of Clarke and her friends. There was an old photo of what must have been baby Clarke on a man’s shoulders, tongue stuck out holding a football. That must be her dad she guessed, it was then she noticed the medal sat just below the photo. She had seen the medal in many photos but never in person. Carefully, she moved closer to take in the detail. 

“You can pick it up if you want” Lexa jumped not realising that Clarke had stopped packing and had noticed the brunette’s curiosity. She looked back at Clarke who gave her a nod, and she slowly picked up the medal. ‘Women’s Rugby 2014 Rugby World Cup Winner’ the inscription was so clear and she allowed her finger to run across it. “I’ve only ever seen photos, dreamt of holding one for real you know” The words escaped before she knew it. 

“It was one of the best days of my life.” Clarke replied, and it was true winning the World Cup was one of, if not the best day of her life but she barely spoke about it. It seemed so long ago now. “Here..” She picked up the medal from Lexa and put it around her neck, “There you go” Lexa didn’t know what to say, she just smiled and looked in the mirror. Here she was wearing a World Cup Winners medal, not just any medal but Clarke Griffin’s. 

“I hope that the next time I wear a medal it will be an Olympic one” She thought to herself, not realising she had said it out loud. 

“Yeah, I had that dream too” Came Clarke’s response. Lexa turned around and looked into Clarke’s eyes which were shimmering with unfallen tears. Both girls didn’t know what to say or do, the elephant in the room had gotten bigger. 

“Clarkey, you told me you were packed!” Raven walked into the room, giving Lexa the chance to take off the medal and put it back in its place. They didn’t even hear the front door go. 

“Fuck, I thought you weren’t back for another hour!” Clarke quickly wiped her tears away and grabbed whatever clothes were around and stuffed them in her bag.

“See all done, I just need to get my toiletries and pillow and I’m good” she ran into her bathroom giving her chance to compose herself. Seeing Lexa in her medal gave her all kinds of emotions she wasn’t prepared for. 

“Lexa didn’t see you there, I’m guessing you got roped into helping” Lexa being in Clarke’s room surprised Raven. She was the last person she would be expected Clarke to have asked her help, but if it meant the two would finally get along then Raven was all for it. 

“Yeah I did, is my sister with you?” Raven nodded and pointed to the living area, where Lexa quickly headed out too, putting distance between herself and the blonde. Once she had left Raven heading to Clarke’s bathroom, finding her taking in deep breathes whilst gripping tightly on the sink. Knowing these were the blondes signs of an impending panic attack, Raven had got used to them by now being her room mate and all, she quickly started to massage the blondes back and help her count her breathes. Once her breathing became normal, she wrapped Clarke in a hug. “Everything okay?” Clarke nodded, but the brunette was aware that the blonde just didn’t want to talk about it. “Come on I’m starving let’s get some food” 

* * *

 

The four girls entered the local Japanese restaurant, the food had fast become Clarke’s favourite since arriving in Sao Paulo which had been helped with Raven eating it at least 4 times a week. They quickly grabbed a table, with Raven placing their order before they even had time to think – she just loved her Japanese food.

“So you excited for the weekend?” Raven asked. 

“I think so, although I am not looking forward to the bus journey there” That was the one thing Clarke was dreading, it would take them 8 hours on the bus, arriving at their hotel in the early hours of the morning giving them a few hours of sleep in a bed before having to play. Ensuring her players would be hydrated appropriately had been a frustration of Clarkes when she heard the travel plans. 

“The journey isn’t too bad, the trick is to find a comfortable position and sleep” Lexa inputted. 

“That’s easy for you sis, you can sleep anywhere!” Anya responded, which was very true. 

“Well we are not all fidgets like you An” Lexa retorted, remembering all the journeys she shared with her sister and the elbows she would get digging into her. 

“Well I for one will not be able to sleep at all” Clarke was clearly not looking forward to the journey.

“O Clarke, is that because you won’t have me to cuddle to get you to sleep” Raven joked, although they had spent most of the past month cuddling up to each to get to sleep. Clarke had been struggling to find sleep, and after telling her room mate why and what Octavia would do to help her, Raven happily obliged to be her cuddle buddy. 

“RAVEN!” Clarke scowled at the brunette clearly embarrassed. “Oops sorry, forgot that was a secret” the mischievous brunette winked. Anya quickly smiled, she knew this had been happening as Raven had explained and even one night Anya had taken the liberty of helping Clarke sleep when Raven had some planning to do. If she was honest, it had made her fall for Raven more, seeing her caring side and it had brought her and Clarke closer. 

“So yeah I don’t exactly want the team to know I’m a huge baby and can’t get to sleep without someone hugging me” Clarke muttered to Raven, trying to hide her embarrassment. 

“Don’t worry Clarke, I won’t tell anyone” there it was again the roll of the K, it made Clarke blush yet again which Raven was quick to notice. That was interesting she thought. “You packed Manly didn’t you?” Manly was Clarke’s teddy, basically a white bear (well not as white as it used to be) dressed in the England rugby kit. It had been a present given to her by Octavia years ago when she lost her childhood teddy on an away tour in New Zealand.

“Again, RAVEN!” That was another thing Clarke didn’t really want people knowing. 

“Whose Manly?” Anya asked and Raven smirked, “Manly is Clarkes o so cute comfort teddy that she snuggles up to” “Which I will most likely be doing more of now my room mate is less appealing to cuddle!” Clarke grabbed Raven in a headlock clearly trying to express her frustration even though she found it hard to be annoyed at her room mate.

Lexa and Anya just laughed at the two of them, “Well Clarke your not the only one, Lexa here…” 

“No, no, no” Lexa quickly covered her sisters mouth before she go any further, to be met with her sisters tongue licking her hand. “Gross An!” 

“Did you ever learn when we were kids?” Came her older sisters response, “Anyways as I was saying..” Anya preceded to tell the girls about Lexa’s very own comfort teddy, along with stories of how she would refuse to leave without knowing said teddy was carefully packed. “Wow I never thought commander here would have a teddy!” Raven grinned. 

“Yeah well clearly only the best people have comfort teddies, isn’t that right Lexa?” The smile on Clarke’s face, made Lexa blush. “Yes Clarke” Came her response. 

Finally, their food arrived, and conversation soon halted with the girls eating their weight in gorgeous Japanese food with only passing comments of Raven’s moans of satisfaction being very inappropriate causing Anya to blush at the thoughts they were causing. Not long after, they checked the time. Lexa and Clarke had to leave shortly to meet the rest of the team as their bus would be leaving in under an hour. They said their goodbyes and heading towards the metro in silence, Clarke was starting to get nervous. No one knew what was riding on this weekend, no one other than Lincoln who wouldn’t be there, even though he had set everything up. She really needed this weekend to go well.

When they arrived a few of the girls were already there, Clarke smiled at Luna who had become her closest friend in the team and heading over to her, leaving Lexa to do her own thing. 

“Arriving with the commander? You guys talking now?” Luna asked, it hadn’t gone unnoticed by the team that Clarke and their commander barely spoke to each other. 

“We met earlier to select the team and well we hung out for a bit with my roommate and her sister” Clarke explained shrugging her shoulders, she noticed Lexa had walked over to the rest of the girls and they had fallen into conversation. It was these moments that Clarke found frustrating, her Portuguese had got better but it wasn’t great so she couldn’t quite pick up what the conversation was about. 

“Don’t worry, they are just trying to get under the commander’s skin. She bailed on meeting them earlier for their usual pre-travel drink” Luna explained sensing that Clarke didn’t understand. This was news to the blonde, as Lexa didn’t say she had plans earlier and a part of her felt guilty for taking her away from her team. 

“Come on let’s get on the bus”. Thankfully they had a 20 seater bus for only 14 travellers, this meant that the captain and coach could have a seat to themselves. Honestly, Clarke didn’t mind sharing as she knew she wouldn’t be sleeping but once she settled and got comfortable she was glad she could stretch out. 

Once all the girls had arrived, the bus pulled away with the driver informing them they would make a couple of stops along the way. Most girls had put on their headphones and attempted to get some sleep, but Clarke noticed that Lexa had got her book out and was reading. 

“Not tired?” She whispered over to Lexa. “No, like you I can’t sleep well and I figured I would just sleep when we got there” came the response.  Clarke smiled, not wanting to interrupt the blonde further and put on her headphones, closing her eyes she tried to relax. What felt like 5 minutes she was rudely shaken, opening her eyes she met green. “What the fuck?” 

“Clarke are you okay?” Lexa looked really concerned, it hadn’t been 5 minutes it had been two hours and in that time Clarke had fallen asleep but had been restless, eventually crying in her sleep which Lexa could no longer ignore so she woke the blonde up. “You were asleep and you…” Lexa didn’t need to explain; Clarke knew instead she just put her head in her hands. 

“Sorry, that’s why I can’t sleep, every time I do I get nightmares and well end up, you know, like that. Sometimes I wake up in a panic, that’s why Raven stays with me. She woke up when I was suffering a panic attack” She felt embarrassed. She could count on her hand the people that knew about this, and well here she was on the team bus explaining to Lexa of all people. 

“It’s okay Clarke, I’m here. Ii will stay here if you want to go back to sleep?” Clarke didn’t answer, she just moved her legs to allow Lexa to get comfortable and she snuggled up to the brunette, so close she could take in her perfume which sent Clarke’s head spinning. What was happening to her? 

* * *

 

It had been 6 hours into the journey, and Clarke was still asleep snuggling up to Lexa. During that time Lexa had been left with her thoughts. Being this close to the blonde was something she never imagined would happen. But she couldn’t read into it, the moment in Clarke’s bedroom was still very clear. Clarke would never see past what happened, and even though they had spent the day on talking terms, Lexa wasn’t stupid she knew this was all for the sake of the team. However, right now she had the blonde asleep in her arms, and she couldn’t’t help the feeling she got every time Clarke would tug onto her shirt, clearly dreaming. She felt safe and relaxed something she hadn’t felt in a long time, normally having to be completely exhausted to find sleep, but slowly her eyes started to become heavy. Just 5 minutes she thought and she would go back to her reading. 

The bus had started to become noisy, it was then that Lexa realised it was no longer moving. They had arrived in Uberlandia and what was more surprising was she had fallen asleep. Clarke was still asleep and hadn’t moved an inch. Luna noticing that Clarke was asleep just smiled at Lexa but stood in front of the two so the girls couldn’t see just how comfortable their captain and coach had gotten. Lexa was relieved of that – team gossip was something she avoided and could do without. 

As the girls got off the bus, Lexa finally felt movement to her side. Clarke was waking up, so Lexa quickly removed her arm and began to get out of her seat. “You guys look cute you know” Luna whispered in Lexa’s ear just as she left, following the rest of the team. Lexa only rolled her eyes, she knew Luna wouldn’t let her live this down, it was a rarity anyone in her team got to see her close to anyone anyways. Grabbing her bag, she turned to Clarke who was still waking up. She smiled as Clarke reminded her of a young child being woken up from her slumber, which was rather cute. 

“We here?” Clarke’s husky voice, gave Lexa goosebumps, the blonde was clearly unaware of where she was and quickly grabbed her things. Lexa allowed her to get off the bus first picking up the blonde’s pillow that she had forgotten. By the time they got to the hotel reception, most of the girls had heading to their rooms. The receptionist handed their key, one key. 

“Is there just one key?” Lexa asked. 

“Yes, there is only room left in the booking, the rest of the girls shared out the other rooms”. Fuck. She completely forgot that they would be sharing rooms, and she hadn’t managed to organise a room buddy, having missed meeting the girls earlier. Now Lexa would have to share with Clarke. 

“What’s wrong?” Clarke asked. “Well the girls, they’ve already shared out the rooms so we have to share” Lexa was hesitant to give the blonde the news, but Clarke just shrugged and mumbled hurry up I’m tired. Clearly the blonde was too tired to care. 

They got in the lift and headed to their room. Once there Lexa opened the door. Shit. There was just a double bed. 

“I’ll go down and ask them to change the room” She said to Clarke. Before she even got chance to walk out the door Clarke grabbed her, “Look does it matter? We’re both tired and we both struggle to sleep so maybe this is the universe just telling us to get over ourselves and get some sleep”. 

Lexa just looked at Clarke, totally losing herself in an ocean of blue. Maybe the blonde was right, but it was the universe having a laugh at her expense she was sure of it. “Okay”. 

With that they both got changed, and headed to the bed. Sleep found them soon after they settled, with Clarke wrapping her arm around Lexa’s waist and snuggling into the brunettes shoulder. Once Lexa heard Clarke’s steady breathing she too put her arm on the blonde, bringing her closer resting her head on the blondes. They would wake up in the morning, both having the best night sleep they have had in a long time, but wouldn’t dare admit that to anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think?  
> Octavia coming too, how do we feel about that?  
> Also do we want to know more about Raven and Anya?
> 
> I'm excited for the next two chapters which will be focusing on the Uberlandia trip which will have some drama, clexa may be being civil now but things do take a different turn.


	10. Uberlandia Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls play rugby, but it isn't as easy as they thought. Clarke rocks the boat and gets some unexpected news.   
> Lexa realises her feelings and how it effects her rugby.   
> Clarke gets an admirer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than I wanted, but I wanted the night events and waterfall to be a seperate chapter and to keep the rugby as simple. Hoepfully you still enjoy the chapter :)

The sun was shining as the team gathered by the rugby field for their pre-match talk. Everyone had managed to get some sleep and there was a buzz in the air. They had never played Uberlandia before, with the two teams being from different states, but Clarke had done her homework, so had Lexa, and they knew they were the better side and today should be helpful in developing players without worrying too much about the score.

After their warm up, Clarke de-briefed the team, in Portuguese (she had been practicing all week) and the girls were all ready to show their new coach what they could do. It was clear that their opposition was just as ready for the game as they were, already in position for kick off. As her team had won the coin toss, Lexa would be starting the game and she had already instructed her players where they needed to be, she knew if she executed the kick effectively the ball would bounce just before reaching any opposition players given her team the chance to chase. Simple.

The whistle blew, and Lexa kicked the ball but it was caught before making the bounce. Quickly she commanded her team to form a defensive line. One thing she was very aware of was how quick her teammates were at forming an appropriate defence, they had been working on it a lot recently as it had been their weakness. As the ball was passed to the opposition’s winger, Lexa noticed the clear overlap that was being created to the right of her.

“Guys, mark your players, stop watching the ball!” Clarke could see it too, a couple of the players had been watching the ball and were drifting in not realising they had created enough space for the opposition to run the ball. This was not part of the plan. It was to no surprise that Uberlandia, utilise the space created and through a well-timed offload one of their players ran for the try line. Noticing this happening, it was Lexa who ran from the opposite side of the pitch to chase down the player, only managing to tap tackle the player within metres of the try line. With no support defence, a pass was made leading to the impending try. It was frustrating to watch, but more frustrating for Lexa. No words were said, she just gave her teammates a stern look. They knew that they hadn’t focussed.

Clarke stayed on the side line, she wanted to see how her team would react to this without her influence, a sometimes unorthodox decision when a try is scored against, but she couldn’t be on that pitch playing, her players needed to know how to react and play. She was pleased to see that all the players set up quickly to receive, with their heads held high, with Luna catching the ball and running straight into space between two of the opposite players. However, at the breakdown the ball was turned over resulted in another try, which frustrated Clarke – they needed to secure the breakdown a lot quicker than that.

She ran over to team and quickly told them to get their heads in the game and not be so isolated at the breakdown. There was still time to turn the game around. The rest of the game went very similar, with Lexa losing her head which resulted in being subbed off. This had never happened to her before. She was not happy.

In the last few minutes of the game, after being 5 tries down, they finally scored a try which Clarke noticed was through a change in playing with Lexa being off the pitch. It made her wonder if the girls relied heavily on her and if she didn’t perform they wouldn’t, something made her want to change things slightly but she knew it wouldn’t go down well but they had two more games left. Heading over to the team with the final whistle she brought them all together.

“How did we find that game then girls?”

“Shit”

“We didn’t play as a team”

“Awful, we didn’t switch on” Clarke nodded, it was clear they were defeated and she needed to pick them up.

“Well I disagree, yes you didn’t win but by the end of the game, with some changes, you came together as a team. What changed?” Everyone looked at Lexa, who had yet to say anything. They respected their captain, she was the commander afterall, but they knew when she came off everyone felt more at ease playing. She was having a bad game and was taking it out on them on the pitch.

“Lexa came off, so we pulled together knowing we couldn’t rely on her” Ontari, one of the feisty one’s of the team spoke up meeting a glare from Lexa.

“Yes, you must remember you are ALL part of the team so you ALL need to play together okay? Rest up, stretch you’ve got around an hour before the next game” Clarke instructed the team and walked away she needed some time to analyse the game and make some changes.

As Clarke walked away, Lexa turned away from her team. It was true they played a lot better when she came off, it frustrated her. “You know sometimes we just have bad days” Luna had come to sit next to her and she just shrugged her shoulders. “Lexa you are our captain, our commander, we don’t blame you if you have a bad day, but I know you. You don’t have bad days. What’s wrong?”

That was something Lexa couldn’t answer, she didn’t know what was wrong. She just knew that every time she went to tackle she saw blonde, every time she went to pass she saw blue. Her head wasn’t in it and she didn’t like to see her team defeated. “I don’t know Luna, but I’m not losing another game, not today”.

She headed over to Clarke, who was sat under some shade with her notebook in hand scribbling things down.

“Clarke can I speak to you?” she sat next to Clarke and noticed the notes she had made. There was a question mark next to her name which made her heart sink. Clarke too wasn’t happy with her performance.

“Yes, of course. Actually I want to talk to you too” They looked at each other, Clarke getting lost in green and Lexa in blue. It was then that Lexa knew. She had been distracted because of feelings that she promised herself would never happen before the Olympics. Rugby was her life. She couldn’t afford distractions, and obviously Clarke was that to her even though, as far as she was concerned, it wouldn’t be mutual. She sighed, “I think I shouldn’t play the next game. Let the girls play and work together” She had seen how they played when she came off the pitch, and she owed the girls that chance to win and she needed to clear her head.

“I agree” The response from Clarke made Lexa’s heart sink, she agreed which meant she wasn’t happy with her performance. Shit she really did play bad. Not saying a word, she got up and began to walk away.

“Lex whatever it is just try and let it go, focus on rugby so I can see the commander I’ve heard so much about” Lexa just nodded and carried on walking away. Sometimes sacrifices had to be made and she knew she had to get her head focussed if she was to be the player she knew she was.

* * *

 

The next two sevens game went great for the team, with Lexa coming on the second half of the second game scoring three tries. It had been a shock to the girls that their captain had been subbed but it made them play even harder which they admitted helped their development. Clarke clearly knew what she was doing and was not afraid to rock the boat to get results. After the games, they had two hours for lunch before the development session, where they were invited to go for dinner with the Uberlandia girls.

As they were leaving, Clarke was approached by someone who had been watched her coach very closely, “Hello Clarke isn’t it?”

Clarke looked at the guy who was clearly important and was wearing a Brasil rugby top. Shit, she thought this must be him.

“Yes, it is nice to meet you!”

“Yes it is, my name is Marcus Kane I’m the head coach for the Brasil Sevens team for the girls and I was wondering if we could have a chat?” Clarke suddenly got butterflies. “Of course, how about we talk over some food?”

“That would be great!” They both followed the girls into a local restaurant/bar close to the rugby field and grabbed a table away from the girls who all seemed to be chatting with the other players of the team. After ordering a couple of drinks they began to talk.

“So Clarke, I feel I need to introduce myself. You see I’ve been coaching the Brasil sevens squad now for around 4 years and never have I had the courage to sub Lexa. She is one of our star players but yet you did the unthinkable today. Why?”

“Well she didn’t have her head in the game. She was making mistakes and the girls, they respect her and weren’t performing either. So I subbed her and after that the girls changed their style of play and came together. That’s why I kept her off for the second game, so the rest of the team to could develop more which worked extremely well.”

“I agree with you Clarke; it’s just I’ve never come across a coach willing to take that kind of risk with a star player”

“No one is a star player” This was infuriating Clarke, she had come across it before. A reputation of a player outweighing the performance. It was something that happened to her before and she hated it. She played because she earned it, that was the environment she was used to back in England and it would be the environment she would create here. “Every player is only as good as their last performance Marcus”

“Call me Kane, I believe we will become fast friends, afterall I can’t think of anyone else who I would want as my assistant coach” He smiled noticed Clarke nearly choke on her water she was drinking, “Sorry what?” She finally asked.

“That’s why I am hear, Lincoln is an old friend and he told me he had got you to coach at Arkadia and I just had to see for myself. I’ve been looking for an assistant coach for some time now, but the coaches here just don’t have that drive and gutsiness that you clearly have. I need someone who isn’t afraid to change things up. Someone who knows what it means to be a winner. I need you Clarke” It was true he wanted Clarke before he even arrived, and what he saw her today it just confirmed it. Clarke was the coach that would help him get the Brasil girls ready for the Olympics. Ready to win gold.

“Wow, I mean I don’t know what to say” Clarke was speechless.

“Don’t say anything, I will send you all the details later this week. I’m going to catch a flight in a couple of hours and will get my manager to draft everything up but Clarke, you are what this team needs.” He smiled and went to leave. “I’ll be seeing you soon Clarke and I think we will make a great team” He gave her a hug and quickly said goodbye to Lexa.

Clarke just sat there not really knowing what to think. Could she really be an assistant coach to the Brasil girls? And what would it mean for her job and the club? She laughed when she realised it would mean coaching the team to potentially play England. How ironic that would be. Lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice the girl sit in front of her. “You do have the nicest smile you know” This got Clarke’s attention and she looked up. The girl in front of her was beautiful. Brown eyes, tanned, and long brunette hair. She was wearing an Uberlandia shirt and Clarke instantly recognised her as one of the players that kept scoring tries against her team, “Well you certainly know how to score against my team” It sounded better in her head. The girl just smiled, “I hope to be scoring more than just tries later” which made Clarke blush. Both girls got into very flirty conversation not noticing the glare being sent from Lexa who had noticed the interaction.

“You know if looks could kill, that girl would be dead ten times over” Luna nudged Lexa.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Lexa wasn’t going to allow her jealousy get to her. She had to focus, especially now she had seen that her national coach had been there today. Of all the people to choke in front of, he was not one of them. Luna just smirked, it was so obvious to her and most of the team. They would make a perfect couple she thought.

* * *

 

The remainder of the day was a success. Both teams worked together to learn as much as possible about playing fifteens. And it was obvious that the girls loved to listen to Clarke explain her experiences playing the game, she had even agreed to take photos with the girls wearing her World Cup medal – she would thank Anya later for the idea.

There was only one player who had kept her distance. Lexa just felt out of place. Seeing Clarke at lunch flirting, made her realise that no matter what she would never gain the blondes interests. Too much had happened. So she kept her distance, talking to a few girls.

“Lexa could i get a photo with you and Clarke?” It was the girl who had been flirting with Clarke. She was beautiful Lexa had to admit. “Are you sure you don’t want one with just Clarke?” Her response was sharper than she intended.

“Don’t worry about that, I’m sure I will get one on my own with Clarke” She winked, “But you play for Brasil and she played for England why not get a photo with two brilliant players” Lexa nodded and headed over to Clarke, quickly putting on her Brasil jersey. She noticed Clarke had changed into her World Cup polo for the photos. Why she didn’t notice earlier she never knew because it really made Clarke look more angelic, especially with the sun shining down.

“Let’s get one of the two together” One of the girls from Uberlandia, shouted. Lexa just smiled when she got next to Clarke. “I didn’t realise this would be a big deal” Clarke whispered to Lexa as she stood closer to the brunette, “You are a big deal Clarke” The blonde just looked into Lexa’s eyes and smiled, being this close made her feel safe. They remained like that for a while just laughing and joking as the girls took photos with them, Clarke used to hate this whenever she was asked to make appearances, not because she hated meeting people but more so because she hated the photos being taken. But here with Lexa she didn’t mind it.

“Right let’s head back to the hotel to get ready! I need a drink!” Luna shouted to the girls, who quickly followed her to the bus. The day had been brilliant, both teams bonded and Clarke had the best news since being in Brasil. She was still buzzing about it she hadn’t even told any of her friends. Getting out her phone she noticed her messages. The girls had sent the photos in their messaging group with one catching her eye. It was of her and Lexa. Lexa was stood holding a rugby ball with Clarke, both looking at each other. They were smiling. Without thinking she posted it on Insta.

**@clarkegriffin_12 Great day today. Excited for the next chapter with Brasil Rugby. #coaching #brasil #rugby #nextchapter**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Lexa realises she likes Clarke and it's a distraction, and Clarke gets to coach the Brasil team what do you think Lexa will think to that?  
> Also posting a cute photo of the two on insta had to be done - will it cause some drama?
> 
> Let me know what you think and any suggestions are welcome :)


	11. Uberlandia Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things happen, Lexa and Clarke build some bridges.  
> Luna figures them both out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I apologise for the delay in update; I was finishing off my postgraduate research and was lucky enough to go to the Olympics so time got the better of me!

It didn’t take Lexa long to get ready for the evening activities, opting to wear white jean shorts and a black t-shirt and leaving her hair down. If only this was the same for Clarke. She was stressing, she didn’t know what to wear even though she had brought enough clothes to choose from, which made Lexa laugh – the girl seriously couldn’t travel light. Sensing that Clarke would take a while, Lexa decided to join Luna in the hotel lobby, who like her was already ready. 

Heading down in the elevator, Lexa got lost in her thoughts. Today had been hard for her. She didn’t normally lose focus, playing rugby was her life and to lose focus was just not her. Even if she tried to ignore it, she knew the reason wasn’t going away anytime soon, I mean she was sharing a room with the cause of distraction. When did she even begin to start feeling this way? She laughed, she had had a crush on Clarke for years, never really anticipating to actually get to meet her and when she met her at the games that only intensified. But now to actually be around Clarke and see her for more than a player, it scared Lexa. She couldn’t afford distractions, she had one goal. At least when she was with the National team Clarke wouldn’t be around – she didn’t know that Clarke was to be the new assistant coach. She was in for a shock.

Stepping out of the elevator, she saw Luna already at the hotel bar with Ontari. Both girls had clearly had a few drinks already. 

“Commander!!! Joining us for pre-drinks I see?” Ontari handed her over a drink which Lexa quickly drank. “Someone clearly isn’t holding back” Luna smirked, it wasn’t like Lexa to drink so quickly but she knew her friend well enough to know that when she did, she needed to let lose. “Well after today, I need to relax” 

The girls ordered another drink and it wasn’t long before more of the team joined them and drinking games began. 

“I have never had a crush on my coach” Ontari smirked, when she saw the majority of the team drink, including Lexa. “I don’t even need to ask which coach!” 

“I have never fallen asleep in a club” Everyone looked at Ontari, it had happened a fair few times. “What can I say I just drink a lot and need a tactical nap!”

The game continued, and it wasn’t long before the majority of the team were buzzed. 

“Guys who are we waiting for? I want to dance and get to know the UDI girls!” 

“I believe it is our coach” Indra remarked who had been quite for most of the drinking, keeping a sharp eye on her teammates and most importantly her captain and close friend. 

“Right I’ll go get her!” Luna got up, nearly tripping over Ontari and headed to the elevator. 

 

She was taking forever, she knew it but Clarke wanted to look good plus she had spent some time letting Raven and Octavia know her news as she couldn’t keep it to herself much longer. Her contract had already been sent to her e-mail and she was pleased to see there wouldn’t be too much change for her, as clearly Lincoln had anticipated this would happen when organising her hours with the school and the club. She was definitely going to have to thank him. 

Finishing off her makeup, Clarke took one last look in the mirror. Wearing a blue summer dress that fitted to her curves perfectly she was happy. Choosing to wear her hair in curls, she grabbed her flip flops out of her bag just as she heard a knock on the door. 

“Come in!” The door was on a latch, and she turned around as Luna stepped into the room. 

“OMG, Clarke you look…wow!” Luna couldn’t believe how gorgeous Clarke looked, she was silently wishing she hadn’t figured out Lexa liked their coach because she would totally want to hit on Clarke tonight. 

“Thanks Luna! Is everyone waiting for me?” Clarke knew the answer, as the corridor had been silent for a while which only meant everyone was ready and had begun drinking. 

“Well yes, but with you looking like that I’m sure they won’t mind” Luna winked and grabbed Clarke’s hand. Making Lexa jealous wouldn’t be crossing any lines she thought. As they exited the lift, the team had gathered in the reception area, clearly keen to meet the other girls. 

“Well I knew she was fit in her coaching clothes, but now she is gorgeous” Ontari whispered to Indra as she saw Clarke stepping out. 

“Well what we waiting for?” Clarke joked, as she clearly knew all the girls had been waiting and was starting to feel uncomfortable and really needed a drink. 

“You heard her lets go!” Luna spoke up, still holding Clarke’s hand and she couldn’t help but notice the glare she was getting off Lexa. Suddenly she realised tonight could be interesting. 

 

It had been a couple of hours since they had arrived at the bar where the Uberlandia girls had organised Terceiro Tempo, and Clarke was in her element. She had lost count of the drinks she had already had, and she was currently playing beer pong with Luna. Most of the evening she had been getting to know her teammates, and embracing the attention she seemed to be getting from the Uberlandia girls, turns out a blonde with blue eyes could really get the girls hearts racing. It didn’t go unnoticed that a certain brunette had kept her distance, which frustrated Clarke to no end, she actually thought they were at least on civil terms. 

“If looks could kill, Luna would be 6ft under by now” Indra whispered in her captain’s ear, being a close friend it hadn’t gone unnoticed that Lexa had spent most of her night throwing daggers at Luna, and keeping a close eye on the blonde. 

“Shof Op!” Lexa glared at Indra and walked away. It was true but she didn’t need it pointing out to her. If she was honest she just couldn’t take her eyes away from Clarke, and it was killing her to see how happy she was in Luna’s company, she wished she could have the same effect on the blonde. 

Once out of the building, she found a quiet corner and sat down. Her head was spinning from the day and the mix of alcohol wasn’t helping matters. Normally she wouldn’t drink so much as she knew she had to be sure of her actions being the captain, she didn’t want to lose any respect from the girls by a drunken incident. But today she needed a release, she needed to lose herself from her thoughts but it didn’t seem to be working. After a while, she closed her eyes and laid back feeling the warm breeze hit her face, causing a calming effect. The peacefulness drew her to one thought, the sharpness of blue and blonde, which caused her heart to beat faster. There was no denying it, her heart already knew what her head wanted to ignore.

“Ugghhh, why do I have to feel something for the one person I can’t have” she whispered to herself, not realising she was no longer alone. 

“Sometimes our heart wants what it wants” Lexa knew that voice, she didn’t need to look up as she knew she would be met by the one person that had made her heart pound so fast. 

“Do you mind if I take a seat?” Clarke didn’t wait for a response, she quickly placed herself next to the brunette. Lexa found herself lost for words, she didn’t really know what to say, looking at Clarke she could see that even drunk, there was nothing stopping the girl from looking so beautiful and angelic. 

“You know a picture lasts longer” The blonde giggled, she had totally caught Lexa staring, “Sorry”. They continued to sit in silence, both girls noticed that it was just comfortable being around each other, that the craziness of the party was lost once they were in each other’s company. It just felt normal, which scared them both. 

“I got some news today, and for the first time I got excited about rugby again” She didn’t know why she said it, but being around Lexa made her want to say what she had been thinking about all night out loud. There was no response from the brunette so Clarke just carried on talking. 

“After my injury it was hard to even look at a ball without feeling sad, and everything spiralled afterwards, my dad, my relationships, with my boyfriend (Lexa’s heart sank hearing this), my mum and my friends. Coaching was okay, it just didn’t feel the same so I blamed one person, the person who injured me. I put all my energy into hating that person because I thought it would make it easier.”

“Did it?” Lexa’s heart was pounding, she never expected this to happen for Clarke to talk to her about her injury, after all she was the one who had made that tackle. 

“No, nothing or no-one could make it any easier. Imagine getting all you had ever wanted and it being ripped away from you? Not only that you can no longer play the sport that was pretty much your life. It wasn’t easy, but today I realised something. When something isn’t easy, you keep going and you get through it and eventually you will be rewarded with something else. I came here because I was lost, I didn’t expect to have to face the person I spent all this time hating, and at first I didn’t even know how to deal with that. I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes we can’t control the things that happens to us, but we can control how we react. I couldn’t control my injury and you couldn’t control that tackle, I see that now” Lexa let the words sink in, this was not what she was expecting. Was Clarke telling her she didn’t hate her?

“I don’t hate you Lex, I never really did. I hated myself, for being cocky I should’ve passed the ball as soon as I saw you coming to tackle me, or I should’ve stepped…” 

“Clarke, don’t be, it was my fault I am sorry, you were my rugby idol so I hesitated and didn’t think when I made that tackle. It haunts me all the time, I can’t get it out of my head what happened and I’m so sorry” Tears had started to show, Lexa had waited a long time to get that out to finally say those words. Blue met green and as they finally looked at each other, Clarke could see the pain built in Lexa’s eyes and she finally realised what her dad meant when he would say that the eyes are the gateways to a person’s soul. Reacting on instinct she pulled Lexa in for a hug, which Lexa embraced and eventually relaxed into. Eventually they pulled away and already both girls craved for more contact.  
“Anyway I better get back to the party, I promised one of the Uberlandia girls I would show her how to down a pint in one.” The blonde laughed. 

“What was your news?” It had dawned on Lexa she hadn’t told her what her news was. 

“That my friend is for me to know and you to find out” Clarke winked and headed back to the party. It was in that moment Lexa knew she was done for, the blonde was truly going to be the death of her. 

 

 

It was 5am by the time Clarke and Luna got back to the hotel, both girls being the last of the team to return. After Clarke’s conversation with Lexa she didn’t see the brunette for the rest of the night and had spent most of it drinking and dancing with Luna and a couple of the Uberlandia girls. One of the girls had taking a liking to Clarke and had made a lot of advances, that she had to get Luna to help her out. 

“I can’t believe you rejected her!” Luna was so shocked at Clarke rejecting the girl, she was really hot a far as Luna was concerned, but no matter what Clarke just didn’t give in.  
“Luna I’m just not the type, I’ve been hurt and well for me kissing and everything it means something. I am not just going to kiss the first Brasilian that comes onto me” Clarke had her reasons, and if she was being honest there was only one Brasilian she wanted to kiss, but she wasn’t going to admit that. 

“Whatever you say blondie, come on we need to sneak you into your room without waking the commander, you do know we have to be up in 3 hours to go to this waterfall!” The team would be leaving at 8am for a trip to a waterfall nearby which was supposed to be for team bonding which both Clarke and Lexa had organised. “Man whose bright idea was that!” Clarke exclaimed, laughing realising it was totally hers, “Yours!” came Lunas response. 

“I blame Lexa she clearly hypnotised me with her smouldering green eyes and perfect jawline” Luna couldn’t believe what she was hearing, Ontari owed her she totally knew it. Clarke had the hots for Lexa and she knew Lexa did to, she was going to have fun with this bit of information for sure. 

“Come on you can go get lost in those green eyes when she’s shouting at you for drunkenly waking her up” As per usual Clarke had forgotten her hotel key, so she was going to have to wake Lexa up to get into her room, this was not going to go down that well. 

Rolling her eyes, the blonde proceeded to knock on her hotel room, after what seemed like an hour (more like 5 minutes) she could finally hear movement in the room. Finally the door opened to reveal an annoyed Lexa, wearing a tank top and pyjama shorts which Clarke couldn’t but grin at the sight of her. She had it bad. 

“I am guessing you forgot your key?” 

“Maybe, or maybe I just wanted a booty call” Clarke winked and left a flustered Lexa at the door as she proceeded to grab her pyjamas and get changed. It didn’t take her long and she finally got herself into bed, all too aware of how Lexa was still standing by the door. 

“You know I’ve heard about people sleeping in a bed and how comfortable it is” The blonde started. Lexa rolled her eyes, she had been woken up and was angry until she opened the door. Seeing Clarke took that anger away and she hated that. Eventually she caved, and headed over to the bed making sure there was enough space between her and the blonde, they may have finally spoken about a few things but she knew there was still a long way for them to go, and she couldn’t give in to her feelings. 

 

Clarke woke up to an empty bed, and couldn’t ignore the headache that had already surfaced. Looking over to her side she noticed a bottle of water and painkillers had been left out for her, she internally groaned because she knew she hadn’t done that. Carefully, she got out of bed and noticed that all of her stuff had been packed up too with clothes out for her to change into. If she wasn’t so hungover, this would’ve bothered her but at least she wouldn’t take so long getting ready. Glancing at her phone, which had also been put on charge for her, she realised she only had 10 minutes to get showered and ready to meet the rest of the girls. Well at least she was going to surprise the girls and actually be on time!

As Clarke was getting ready, the rest of the team were waiting in the hotel lobby all nursing their various hangovers. Even Indra was looking like she had drank a little too much the night before. 

“I’m telling you, they are totally into each other” Luna whispered to Ontari, she was trying to update the younger girl about Clarke’s declaration the night before, but Ontari didn’t believe her. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say, you just want to win this bet!” Luna scowled, yes she wanted to win the bet but she knew she was right. Clarke and Lexa were so into each other. 

“Right let’s all get on the bus, we have only the morning to go to the Waterfall before we head back” Lexa had enough of idle talk, she wanted to get to the waterfall as soon as possible and she could see the girls from Uberlandia already arriving, as far as she could tell everyone from her team was present, well all but one particular blonde. 

“Where’s Clarke?” 

“I don’t know, you shared a room with her!” Came Luna’s response. Sighing Lexa decided she might as well go find the blonde, who clearly had no commitment to time. Deciding to take the stairs, Lexa ran up them in no time finding the door to her room slightly ajar. 

“Clarke!?” Looking around the room she could see that the blonde had packed, but there was no sign of her, not even in the bathroom. This puzzled Lexa as clearly she wouldn’t leave without her things, as she knew they were heading back to Sao Paulo once they had finished at the waterfall. Grabbing the blonde’s things, she heading back down to the bus in the hope that the blonde had made it down and forgot her things. Making her way out to the foyer, one of the receptionists called her over.

“Lexa right?” 

“Yes, is everything okay?”

“Well if your looking for your teammate she is on the top level, look” She turned over a monitor, and clear as day there was Clarke sat on the edge of the balcony situated on the top level of the hotel. Well that explained why she wasn’t in her room, but why she was there Lexa didn’t know. 

Without hesitation she ran back up to the top level of the hotel, leaving Clarkes bags with the receptionist. As soon as she reached the balcony, Clarke was easy to spot, and the closer she got she could hear the heavy and rapid breathing coming from the blonde. Lexa knew the signs all too well. 

Carefully, she sat beside the blonde and started to take in deep breathes, “Listen to my breathing Clarke” the blonde didn’t even look at her, but grabbed her hand and placed it so she could feel the brunettes pulse. Slowly they began to breathe together, calming the blonde down. Lexa noticed the tear streaks on the blonde and the fear held within her eyes, but she carried on breathing to calm her down. 

“Now focus on three things you can see, feel and hear” she whispered to Clarke, who nodded. Keeping their breathing together, eventually Clarke calmed down and began to feel embarrassed. She kept her panic attacks hidden most of the time, with very few people knowing she got them and the last person she wanted to know was Lexa. Great, the brunette had seen her be weak. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, they just happen and I need space to try and calm down” she couldn’t even look at Lexa. 

“Never apologise, we all have things that haunt us but you have to remember you are not alone, and it is not weak to seek out help. Are you ready to head back down?” Clarke nodded and got up without letting go of the brunettes hand, she felt comfort knowing she could feel the girls pulse something she would always seek out from Octavia or Raven, whenever they would comfort her after a panic attack. 

They both headed back down to the bus in silence, with Lexa grabbing Clarkes bags as they walked through. It was when they approached the bus that Clarke let go of Lexa’s hand, and instantly they both felt the loss of contact. Stepping on the bus, Clarke soon changed joking with the girls as they were complaining of having to wait.

“A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early” was her explanation which was met with laughter, clearly the blonde didn’t want to discuss her reasons but it worried Lexa, which made her feel even more uncomfortable, why was this girl having such an effect on her!?

 

 

After an hour of travelling, they finally arrived at their destination. Looking around Clarke could only see trees and open fields so she was clueless as to where the waterfall was. Stepping off the bus she was greeted by one of the rugby girls from Uberlandia. 

“So princess, how’s the hangover?” 

“Not too bad, but I’ll warn you I’m rather grumpy if I don’t get attention” She replied, after this morning’s events she wanted to relax, and well if she was going to get attention from this girl then so be it.

“Well don’t you worry, I’ll give you all the attention you need” the girl responded, Clarke seemed to remember her from the previous night and looking at the girl once more she realised she was rather attractive. Smiling at the girl, she started to walk alongside her listening to her explaining how she lived in Australia. It didn’t take Clarke long to zone out, and begin taking in her surroundings. All around her was trees and fields, with a small walkway which she was sure was leading them to the waterfall. Listening to the group she could tell everyone was lost in their own conversations, with some talking about the previous night or singing random songs. The girl, who she remembered was called Isabella, had realised she had zoned out and was singing along with the others behind them, leaving Clarke to walk alone. 

Taking in the surroundings, Clarke found herself being really reflective. Having only been in the country for a short time, and being wrapped up in the business of her job and Sao Paulo she hadn’t really taking anything in. But at this point it truly hit her, she was in Brasil surrounded by Brasilians walking in, what to her seemed like the Brasilian jungle, heading towards a Waterfall. She couldn’t help but think how far she truly had come, it was only a few months ago she had all the anger of her injury and loss of her dad controlling her actions, but she felt as though she was finally coming to terms with everything. It hadn’t been easy at first, especially seeing Lexa as it reminded her she couldn’t escape, but maybe she didn’t need to escape, maybe she just needed to face things. Something she rarely did, being known to be headstrong and stubborn she kept things to herself, and that is why she suffered with panic attacks because everything soon surfaced and made her feel overwhelmed. Lost in her thoughts she hadn’t realise they had got to appoint of the treck where they had to climb down some rocks, something she had never done before and instantly panic crept in. 

Most of the girls had walked past her assuming she was taking in the scenery, when really she was having an internal battle to control her anxiety. It took her by surprise when she felt a hand slip into hers and she turned to meet green eyes and a reassuring smile. 

“Walk down with me? I’m not great with climbing down!” Lexa smiled, knowing the blonde was at the verge of panicking but wanting to reassure her. 

“Of course, wouldn’t want the captain to fall now would I?” The blonde responded, giving Lexa a reassuring smile and silently thanking the brunette. Carefully they began following the rest of the girls, with Clarke following each step that Lexa took. It didn’t take the blonde long to hear the clear sound of water hitting water, she knew then that they were close and it dawned on her that the last time she went to a waterfall she was with her dad back in England. Before she knew it her breathing became erratic and she couldn’t move any further. Noticing the sudden hesitation Lexa looked over to Clarke and instantly knew what was happening, and pulled the blonde closer so she could hear her heartbeat. 

“Breathe with me” 

It didn’t take long, and Clarke soon began to calm down listening to the brunettes’ heartbeat, which she realised was beating faster than usual, clearly due to the fact that they had been climbing, nothing else. Once she felt a lot calmer she looked up into green, and instantly felt safe. It had been a long time since she felt like that around anyone. 

“Last t-time, I went to a w-waterfall i-iit was w-ith m-y Daad” Lexa noticed that the blonde was struggling to speak, and didn’t say anything and just pulled her back into a hug. Eventually the blonde pulled away, “I’m okay, I can do this” she said not only to Lexa but in reassurance to herself. Lexa led the way, constantly looking back at Clarke to make sure she was okay, and Clarke couldn’t help but realise that this was exactly what her dad would do, always keeping the blonde in eye sight just to make sure she was safe. Lexa, the one person she least expected to, made her feel the way she felt around her dad: safe and loved. But that couldn’t be, this girl would never feel the same, so Clarke just put that thought to one side. 

Eventually they made it to the clearing where the rest of girls had gathered, and for the first time Clarke saw the cause of the thundering sound that had reached her ears moments ago. It took her breathe away. She had seen waterfalls before, but nothing like this. It seemed as though they were in a small clearing with trees surrounding them, with the waterfall right in front of them. Looking up she couldn’t even tell how long the waterfall was but it definitely was the biggest one she had seen. At the bottom of the waterfall, she could see that the girls had already started swimming over, passing a rugby ball around and she smiled. Now this truly was a moment for her, from a young age she loved being part of nature and would always take her sketch book with her to draw and this was definitely a sight to behold. Carefully she followed Lexa to the rest of the group, where the girls had already started an open fire and built a small camp area for them to keep their things and eat.  
It was peaceful. 

Finally, Clarke understood what it meant to be out of your comfort zone and take in your surroundings. With just the chatter of the girls and the sound of water hitting water, she felt relaxed. All her fears and worries seemed to disappear in that moment and as she opened her eyes she caught Lexa staring at her, and she smiled. She knew at that moment it wasn’t just the surroundings that were making her feel so at peace. But she also knew there was no way the brunette would feel the same, after all she had heard her say she liked someone last night. She had to let go of how she felt around the brunette. 

It didn’t take Clarke long to join the rest of the girls in the water, walking in barefoot to the surprise of some of the girls who expected her to keep her flip flops on whilst walking over the rocks. Luna and Ontari were wrestling in the water seeing who could out beat the other, with the other girls cheering for either one. Laying back Clarke just let herself float and relax to the sounds of her teammates and the water breaking. After the mornings panic attacks she felt exhausted so this was the perfect place to be and slowly she felt herself drift off. 

All this time a certain brunette had kept to the side of the water, taking in the scenes around her and carefully watching Clarke float. The blonde looked peaceful, but Lexa was worried. She never knew the girl, who came across so strong willed and confident, suffered from panic attacks. Lexa was knew all too well what they were like, and she felt herself wanting to take care of the blonde, a lot more than she knew she should. It was clear she needed a distraction when she returned to Sao Paulo, and she was grateful she would be away from the club in a few weeks training with the national team. She just had to get through the next few hours and everything will be back to normal, or so she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did we think?  
> Clexa still has a long way to go, and clearly are oblivious to how they feel. I wanted them to finally talk some things out but not too much, the next few chapters will see more of what happened and what Clarke went through which will lead to seeing Lexa's point of view. It might get angsty.  
> Also i kind of just love having Luna as the middle women here, sometime you need someone to see things that you can't see!
> 
> The waterfall was actaully written from my experience - love them and they are so peaceful! I wanted this to be a bit longer but I felt the key was Clarke's realisation being there.


	12. Octavia Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So finally Octavia arrives but things happen before then with Lexa and Clarke

It had been a week since the trip to Uberlandia and Lexa had thrown herself into her training with both the club and at the gym, only giving her time to eat and sleep. With national camp only a couple of weeks away she was determined to be at her best. After another gruelling session at her gym, she made it back to her apartment already in anticipation of a nice meal and sleep. It had fast become her routine this week, barely having any time to catch up with her sister.

To her surprise as she exited the lift, she could hear a lot of chatter coming from her apartment. Great her sister was home and had friends around. So much for getting some food and some sleep.

“I’m telling you, she will love it!” Lexa was met with the sound of Raven, and rolled her eyes. Yes this was definitely not going to be a quiet night.

“You don’t even know her Rae, how do you know she will love it?” That voice, made Lexa look up, it was unmistaken. Clarke was in her apartment.

“I don’t even know why you two are debating this, my idea is obviously the best” came her sisters response. Lexa was curious as to what they were discussing, but not enough to join in. She took off her trainers and dumped her bag in the laundry room taking off her tank top ready to get washed. It was only then she realised she would have to walk across to her bedroom in just her sports bra and shorts, not that she was body conscious, she knew she looked good, but the thought of having to walk past Clarke made her nervous. “Snap out of it” she whispered, it had been a week and she still had feelings bubbling at the surface that she really needed to get rid of.

“Hey guys!” she casually greeted whilst making her way to the kitchen to grab her post-workout smoothie.

“There you are! I’ve been messaging you!” Anya responded.

“I was at the gym” “All day!?!” Anya knew her sister all to well, when something was bothering her she threw herself into the gym and rugby, but no matter how hard she tried her little sister just wouldn’t budge and talk, not even to Lincoln. Lexa just shrugged her shoulders, and heading to her bedroom without even a glance at the two other girls in the room.

“Well your right An, something is up either that or your sister always acted like she had a stick up her ass” Anya just gave Raven a glare. She was worried too, An had been on edge all week about her sister and no one knew why. She gave Anya a reassuring look, with both of them not noticing that the blonde with them had walked out to the balcony.

“An go talk to your sister I’ll go speak to Clarke” Raven knew her room mate well enough now to know when she was feeling overwhelmed. Walking over to the blonde, there was no immediate signs of her panicking which was a relief, this week she had seen the blonde suffer to many times to count.

“You okay there princess?” Clarke just smiled, and hugged Raven. She wasn’t sure why, but seeing Lexa made her feel overwhelmed with a sense of longing and she needed some air. This week had been difficult with her panic attacks, and the organisation of her new coaching role plus the arrival of Octavia happening in a few hours. When she saw Lexa all she wanted to do was embrace the girl and feel safe again, a feeling she craved after the weekend.

“Yeah, it’s just all too much right now. With the job and everything, then Octavia arriving”

“I figured, but we got you okay. You are going to whip that national team into shape, and Octavia is going to love being here”

“I know, it’s just I will be gone for the next two weeks and O will have only been here a few days”

“She understands, plus she’s got me to look out for her! And Anya too” Clarke smiled, Raven had truly become like a sister to her and she knew Octavia would be okay, she just didn’t want to leave her best friend so soon but she needed to head to Sao Jose where the national team would train for a week, with her arriving early to start getting to grips with everything, if anything she was nervous.

“I’m scared Rae”

“Of what?”

“That I won’t be good enough” As soon as she said it, it hit her. She was scared she wouldn’t be the coach they wanted and she was finally growing to love coaching just as much as she did playing.

“Clarke, you are good enough. You were an amazing player, and now an amazing coach and I don’t even know rugby but you got me switched on when you run through your training plans. You are good enough trust me. And if anyone says otherwise, ill kick their ass” Clarke let Raven’s words sink in she knew she was right and normally she didn’t even doubt herself but since the weekend doubts had crept in, which hadn’t helped her panic attacks. Maybe there was something more to it, but she wasn’t sure what.

“Come on princess, let’s get this welcome banner finished so we go pick up your bestie”

“Okay, you know it does surprise me how well you seem to think you know O. Have you guys been talking behind my back?” Clarke joked, little did she know that had been the case with Raven getting O’s advice with Clarke and her panic attacks.

They quickly got back to the banner, with Clarke losing herself in the drawing completely forgetting about the other two girls in the apartment, until they heard the raised shouting coming from Lexa’s room.

“You know what Lexa you need to grow up! You can’t keep pushing people away and ignoring your feelings! I’m your sister for Christ’s sake, talk to me!” Anya was frustrated, she had been trying to talk to Lexa for over 20 minutes now and she was getting nowhere. It annoyed the hell out of her and she didn’t know what was wrong.

“Anya you have no idea okay, just stick to your friends continue what you were doing don’t mind me, I can deal”

“What close yourself off to everyone and just make yourself ill from training too much and not sleeping!? And don’t even deny the attacks are back, I’ve heard you!” Lexa turned to face her sister, true her panic attacks had started up again this week and she was doing everything she could to stop them. Looking at her sister she could see the worry in her face, and she felt guilty. She hadn’t meant to push her away this week, but she didn’t want to admit what was causing her to panic and throw herself into everything other than dealing with her emotions.

“Lex, I don’t understand before you went to the game on the weekend you was fine, did something happen?” Lexa tried to not look at her sister, but it was too late, Anya could read her sister better than anyone.

“O my god, it did didn’t it? What happened, I know about the game as you told me that but something more happened didn’t it?” Lexa just didn’t look at her, “Just get out An, please”

“No Lex talk to me, what happened on the weekend!?” Anya raised her voice she wasn’t going to give up. Raven and Clarke were now, by the door and could hear everything, curiosity got the better of them.

“Leave it An” Lexa was getting annoyed, she didn’t like being backed into a corner. “Just leave it please!” she grabbed her hoody and threw it on, she needed to get out.

“Don’t walk away from me!” Quickly Raven and Clarke ran back to the living room as they could hear movement in the room, and they didn’t want to be seen eavesdropping.

“For fucks sake An, what do you want me to say? Admit that yes something is wrong, that maybe I feel something that I cant explain and maybe that what I feel is for someone I know I can never have!!!” With that Lexa walked out her room and stormed out the apartment not even glancing back.

“Well that was a successful talk” Raven muttered to Clarke. Anya walked out and just collapsed next to Raven, who put her arm around the girl.

“I don’t get it, normally she talks. Clarke did anything happen to her on the weekend?”

“Not that I know of, she was her usual self. She helped me a lot actually, I was panicking and well she helped me but other than that nothing out of the ordinary”

“Yeah well she would help, she suffers with panic attacks too, she’ll kill me for saying it but yeah this week has been a nightmare, kept her up all night most nights. I just don’t know what to do”

“She’ll come around An, come on give her some breathing space.” Raven was half worrying about Anya but also Clarke, she hadn’t mentioned she had any panic attack whilst she was away which was weird, and also the fact she never mentioned Lexa helping her.

Clarke could feel her room mates look, but she didn’t want to look Raven in the eye. There was a reason why she didn’t tell her about Lexa. Grabbing her phone she decided she would message the brunette.

**To Lexa: Are you okay? If you need anything I am here, can’t have the captain of the team disappearing.**

There was more she wanted to say, but were her and Lexa even friends? She didn’t know.

**To TheCoach: Meet me. I’m at the park.**

Clarke re-read the message a couple of times, not expecting the reply or even the request to meet. Looking at the time she knew she didn’t have much time before she had to go to the airport with Raven to collect Octavia, but she wanted to make sure the brunette was okay.

“Guys, I’m just going to nip back to the apartment and check everything is all good” She looked at Raven with a look to say please don’t question me, but Raven didn’t as she was more concerned with keeping Anya happy. It was still a surprise they still hadn’t got together. Clarke grabbed her things and headed to the park with no idea as to what she was going to say when she got there, if it was any of her friends she would know but Lexa was an anomaly she barely knew the girl.

* * *

 

Storming out on her sister was not something she planned on doing, but admitting she had feelings for someone, well for Clarke, although she wouldn’t admit that to her sister, she needed some air. Then the one person she least expected to message her did, and she asked her to meet her. Why? Lexa was clearly unsure, but before she could take back the message it was already sent, it was like her fingers had a mind of their own. She was sat in the same place they sat when they planned the team last week, had that really been a week ago!? Now she was nervously waiting, she didn’t even know what she would say to Clarke, but she just wanted someone around and she couldn’t deny the way the blonde made her feel; safe.

It wasn’t long before she saw the noticeable blonde hair walking towards her. She couldn’t help but smirk, as with one message Clarke came and well they weren’t even friends, not really. Clarke sat beside her, not really saying anything, but instantly Lexa felt relaxed. This girl was too much, and she just didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Whenever I feel overwhelmed I come here” Lexa began, she needed to get some things of her chest and well it felt normal to talk to the blonde.

“It’s nice, not as peaceful as the waterfall but I can see why you come here” the reassuring look Clarke gave her, only made her want to grab her and hold her tight but she knew that couldn’t happen.

“They started after I made that tackle, the panic attacks. I didn’t know why, and they made me question everything. At first it would be little things, and I just wouldn’t talk about it. They got so bad I had to be taken to hospital because I just couldn’t breathe. From then Anya and Lincoln always gave me the space but would worry so much when they knew they happened. That’s why I hide them. Anya, we well we don’t really talk about things, we are close don’t get me wrong but feelings etc that’s not what we do.”

Clarke was taking in what Lexa was saying, allowing her to open up. “Whenever I feel anything that I can’t explain, it scares me. So I do what I know, be the best I can be. Love is weakness you see and I can’t afford to have any distractions you know. Anyways what I am saying is, I need to focus, and Anya just needs to let me do that”

“Love isn’t weakness Lex, the love of my friends and my family are what got me through so much, when I got injured those first couple of months I was not myself. I didn’t want to be here and if it hadn’t been for them, I don’t know what would’ve happened. It was my dad who got me the coaching job, he pushed me because he couldn’t bear to see me so down. Love is strength, it made me stronger, it makes me stronger knowing that the love my dad had for me pushed him to push me, and now if I just gave up and thought that love was weakness, that wouldn’t be what my dad would’ve wanted. He loved me so much, he stayed up to talk to me on the nights where things were difficult and if he was still here he would still do that. So whatever it is that your running from, quit it. You’re an amazing person, great athlete nothing can stop you from getting what you want, life is more than just getting by each day, surviving. Love can make you stronger, trust me”

Clarke got up and started to leave, with Lexa not knowing what to do. Quickly she got up and grabbed Clarke’s hand, pulling her towards her. Next thing she knew her lips were on the blondes, tasting the sweetness of the blonde and although at first there was hesitation, Clarke kissed her back. She was kissing Clarke, and she felt as if her heart was going to explode out of her chest. It felt like a lifetime they were kissing, but eventually Clarke pulled away.

“I’m sorry, I’m not ready, I can’t do this” and with those words Clarke finally walked away, leaving Lexa touching her lips that were still tingling from the touch of the blonde. She was unsure of what just happened or what it meant, it felt like she had no control of her body but she knew in those moments kissing the blonde, she felt at home. Surely Clarke felt the same, she kissed her back right? But what did she mean as she walked away? She needed to talk to someone, and the one person she knew would give her the answers was the one person that she had stormed out on, she definitely had an apology to make.

* * *

 

Lexa had kissed her. The Lexa. The commander, captain of the team she coaches, the one person who made her feel safe but also was a complete mystery. That was all that was running through Clarke’s mind as she headed back home. The moment took her breath away and she didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t ready for anything like that, she barely knew the girl and with their history she didn’t know if she could trust her. But she couldn’t help the way it felt, with the brunette’s lips on her. It felt like coming home, that everything had fallen into place.

Timing. It just wasn’t on her side. After the past 6 months the thought of letting anyone in scared her, and as much as she had been crushing on the girl, actually kissing her made her panic. There was no way she would be good enough for the brunette, I mean she couldn’t help but notice how fit she was earlier, with abs. Yes, she was attractive too but not physically athletic like she used to be. No, it just couldn’t happen. Or could it? She allowed herself a few seconds to think of what it be like kissing Lexa back, but reality hit, there was no way she would jeopardise how far she had come.

One thing she knew, she couldn’t wait to see Octavia in a few hours.

**To Clarke: I’m Sorry.**

**To TheCommander: Don’t apologise for something unless you regret doing it.**

Clarke hated it when people apologised for things. To her apologises were just excuses, and if Lexa wanted to excuse her action then so be it, but she didn’t want that. Sighing she finally arrived home.

“There you are, I thought you came back here?” Shit. Raven had already got home before her and she had no idea what to say. The girl could read her so well.

“Yeah I went for a walk around the park” the blonde shrugged. Raven wasn’t stupid, something was up. Looking at Clarke she could tell she was hiding something, and for some reason she felt as though it had something to do with a certain brunette.

“Whats the deal with you and Lexa?” she blurted. Clarke couldn’t even hide the look on her face, as much as she tried. “And don’t say nothing, your face gives you away”

“We kissed” she clamped her hand over her mouth, that was not something she wanted to say. Raven’s eyes went wide, this was not something she expected.

“WHATT! Tell me everything!” And so Clarke did. She began telling Raven how things had been between the two from the beginning, and how that had turned into feeling something more. Finally admitting how she felt, Clarke suddenly became a little more relieved, she ended by telling Raven what had just happened at the park.

“So you just walked away?” Raven was trying to process what Clarke had told her, she had seen the chemistry from the girls but assumed it was due to their past, not the fact that evidently they both held feelings for each other.

“Look I just can’t okay? Anyways we need to go and get O” Clarke was done talking. Sometimes she just had needed some time to process. The kiss was something she didn’t expect, and if she was to follow her heart she would embrace the idea of Lexa but she couldn’t do that. Raven let it go and grabbed her car keys, “Okay let’s go!”

Her head was still swimming with that kiss with Lexa. All the way to the airport she zoned out, barely saying a word to Raven, who was quite happy singing along to the music on the radio. What she didn’t understand was why it happened. Her and Lexa, they barely spoke to each other, just a few weeks ago they were hating on each other, so why did they kiss. I mean she could deny the fact she kissed Lexa back, but the fact was she did and it felt amazing. Better than she could ever imagined, and she just wanted to kiss her again. But she was right, she wasn’t ready for that, she barely knew the girl for one and she wanted to be able to settle down in Sao Paulo without anyone. Thankfully the one person she could truly trust, other than Raven who had fast become like a sister, was going to be with in less than an hour. She had no idea how Octavia would react, the girl saw Clarke at the lowest so telling her the girl she carried so much hate for, kissed her a few hours ago would probably be a shock. Or would it, there is a fine line between hate and love after all. Man she really didn’t know what to think, but she knew she needed some space from the brunette, time to process and focus on herself, O and coaching. Yes, that’s what she will do. No distractions.

After parking up, they heading to the arrivals area, with Raven holding the banner they made earlier over her head. Clarke had to admit it looked good, it was filled with all kinds of drawings that represented brazil along with three faces, which Raven drew that were represent the three of them, with the words welcome, and three musketeers which Raven had apparently dubbed them. Clarke smiled, she already knew the three of them would be exactly that.

It didn’t take them long to spot the short brunette pushing her luggage trolley out of the arrivals gate, the next thing Clarke knew she was running up to Octavia and wrapping her arms around her which made the brunette lose her balance, ending with them both in a heap on the floor.

“Well someone is excited to see me!” Octavia laughed, it had been a long time since she saw her best friend, and even longer seeing her smile.

“I missed you O” Clarke didn’t even realise it but she was crying, completely overwhelmed with the day’s events and finally seeing her best friend, “Really missed you”

Eventually the girls got up from the floor, with Octavia wrapping Clarke in another hug, she had truly missed her best friend too. “And you must be Raven” Octavia noticed the other brunette and quickly pulled her into the hug. Eventually the girls broke away, and Clarke smiled it felt so good to have Octavia here. “So what’s the plan?” Raven and Clarke just grinned back at Octavia, they had a great night in store for the girl.

* * *

 

Three hours since Octavia had arrived, and Clarke felt as though no time had passed. When they arrived home, they quickly helped her unpack her suitcases and settle in to her room, which was next door to Clarkes. After opening a bottle of wine, it didn’t take the girls long to truly settle and it felt like Octavia had been living with them all this time, it was amazing how her and Raven had got on so quickly.

Anya, Lincoln and Lexa arrived not long ago, and Octavia quickly wanted to know everything about Lincoln, which Clarke laughed at. She knew her best friend too well. Eventually, more of the rugby team and football team joined them at the apartment which had led them to playing drinking games on the rooftop terrace. Everyone was moderately tipsy, and Clarke had already beaten everyone at beer pong. Deciding she needed another drink she headed over to the kitchen, stumbling slightly realising she was actually drunker than she thought. Maybe another drink wasn’t such a good idea, so she grabbed herself some water, sitting on the kitchen side. Looking back out to where everyone was, she could see Octavia and Lincoln finally kissing, they made a cute couple she thought.

“Clarke, can we talk?” She didn’t know when Lexa had appeared but there she was, albeit blurry.

“Lexa there is nothing to talk about” Trying to get off the kitchen side without stumbling, Clarke grabbed her drink and began heading to her room. She needed to lie down. In her drunken state she didn’t see Lexa follow her.

“Clarke please just let me explain” Lexa whispered as they both entered the blondes room.

“Explain what? That you kissed me because you felt like it and then apologised after clearly regretting it?” Snapped Clarke, she was drunk she didn’t want to talk, she just wanted to sleep.

“I didn’t regret it, you were the one who pulled away” Lexa looked straight at Clarke, she knew the blonde was drunk but she needed to talk to her. Curiously Clarke stared back, looked straight into Lexa’s eyes, and she just knew. No matter what tonight wasn’t the night she would be able to think straight. The next thing she knew she pinned the brunette against the wall, kissing her deeply. It was a drunken decision, but she wanted to taste Lexa, to feel what it felt like hours before and not run from her feelings. It was passionate and messy all at the same time.

“Clarke” Octavia walked into the room, clueless as to what was happening and when she saw the two girls she was surprised. All evening she could sense tension between the two, and it hadn’t surprised her she knew who Lexa was and what she meant to Clarke, but she was clearly wrong. When did her best friend kiss the people she hated? Quickly Lexa pulled away from Clarke, and walked out the room leaving a breathless blonde to crumble in front of her best friend. What was going on!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted them to finally kiss but it's not going to be straight forward.   
> What did we think?


	13. National Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but i hope you like it :)

She was leaving in 2 hours. Having spent the last few days showing Octavia the city and catching up, she hadn’t had time to pack and now Clarke was panicking. The past few days had gone by so quickly; she hadn’t had time to think that the next few weeks were going to be extremely important for her coaching career. With them being busy, Octavia hadn’t even brought up Lexa which was a relief to Clarke, she didn’t have the energy to explain.

Whilst Clarke was packing, Raven and Octaivia were prepping their dinner, as they had decided they would make a traditional Sunday roast. However, half way through they realised they weren’t amazing cooks, and had roped in Anya to help.

“You know I should’ve brought Lexa, she is so much better at cooking” Anya muttered.

“Yeah I don’t think that would’ve been a good idea” Octavia was very aware that her best friend had been avoiding the inevitable conversation they would have, which clearly meant the blonde was conflicted with how she felt. Anya raised her eyebrow at Raven, curious as to what Octavia meant. She knew that they had kissed, but didn’t think anything else had gone on.

“I’m guessing you don’t know then?” Octavia saw the look the older brunette gave Raven, well it was obvious Lexa doesn’t talk much to her sister.

“Know what?”

“That I walked in on Lexa and Clarke making out and well let’s just say if I hadn’t walked in things probably would’ve gone further” Anya looked at Raven, this was news. She didn’t even respond to Octavia, who was clearly unhappy about the situation, and grabbed her phone.

**To TheCommander: WTF?? You made out with Clarke?? Is this why you have been avoiding me these few days??? RING ME**

Lexa rolled her eyes when she received the message, she knew it was only a matter of time before her sister knew but she thought she would at least be at training camp by that time. She was leaving in a couple of hours as the coach wanted her to be there early to meet the new coach with her being the captain, she was glad she wouldn’t be home when Anya returned.

Grabbing her things, she finished packing and heading to the coffee shop she had arranged to meet Indra before leaving. Kissing Clarke, was still playing in her mind, and she couldn’t switch it off. Thing is she knew Clarke was drunk, and with the blonde not reaching out she had come to the conclusion Clarke regretted it. At least she would have rugby for the next few weeks to distract her.

Stepping into the coffee shop, she saw Indra already sat down with two drinks. Lexa smiled, she could always rely on this girl to know she needed a coffee fix. Approaching the table, she put her bag on the opposite chair and sat down, taking in the smell of the strong coffee in front of her. After a couple of minutes of silence, Lexa looked at Indra.

“What’s wrong?” Indra could always tell when something was wrong with her friend, years of knowing and respecting the girl in front of her, she knew her tell tale signs, mainly it was her eyes that gave it away.

“Indra, I think I’ve fucked up”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know my rules, my morals, my focus”

“Of course I do, no distractions, focus on rugby, the Olympics, don’t allow to get close to anyone and don’t fall in love” Indra watched her friend as she spoke and noticed the look Lexa gave when she said the last thing, “Who?” there was no point avoiding it.

Lexa sighed, she had seen it coming and realised these past few days that the once crush she harboured and well and truly blossomed. The fact was she was most certainly in love.

“Clarke” she spoke the name softly, and Indra noticed the affection she held in just saying the name.

“Well that doesn’t surprise me, how long have you been fighting the inevitable?” Indra smirked.

“What do you mean that doesn’t surprise you?” Lexa raised her eyebrow, she knew her friend knew her well but she thought she had hid her feelings well.

“Come on Lexa, I’ve known you for many years and when you started playing rugby there was only one player you admired and well now that said player is in our lives, you think I didn’t notice the way you looked at her?” Lexa just smiled, she knew coming to Indra was the right choice.

“The thing is I don’t know what to do..I have to focus and this is just becoming a huge distraction”

“I disagree, since that girl arrived you’ve improved, you are faster, stronger and you are tackling more in training yes the game last weekend didn’t go so well, but that was when you clearly was reasling how you felt, am I right?” Agina, how did this girl know Lexa so well, she thought.

“Yes your right, and okay maybe I have been training harder but I can’t stop thinking about her. I want to make things right, I want to be with her. This is the first time I actually feel like I can move on from that day, and be the better player and there is only one reason why I feel that”

“Have you told her how you feel?” Lexa just shook her head, the idea scared her.

“Well I think you need to start there”

“Yeah, but maybe after national camp. I need to focus on that and focus on showing the coaches, and the new coach that I am just as good if not better than before”

Smiling, Indra nodded. “Yes I think that would be good, speaking of, we better get going if we are going to get our lift on time” They both got up and headed out, little did Lexa know national camp wasn’t going to be the distraction she expected.

 

* * *

 

 

So far everything was great. More than great, Clarke had met the rest of the coaching team and support staff and she had settled in quickly, already putting together the plan for the following weeks training. Now she was getting ready for dinner where the national team captain and vice-captain would be joining. She hoped to god she could make a good impression, Marcus had already made her aware that these were the two players that were difficult to gain respect with. He assured her she shouldn’t have a problem being an ex-professional herself, but still she was nervous. She just wanted everything to go right. Checking her outfit, she had gone for smart skinny jeans and a buttoned shirt which fitted her curves nicely, with her hair left curly and minimal make-up. She looked good, natural and it suited her. Grabbing her phone, she headed down to the restaurant, noticing that for once she wasn’t late.

Marcus stood up once he noticed Clarke approaching and began introducing her to those already present, the CEO of Brasil Rugby, support staff she had met earlier and the captain and vice-captain of the team, Lexa Woods and Indra Kru. As soon as she noticed Lexa, Clarkes’ heart sped up. She hadn’t seen her since the other night and although she knew she was part of the team she thought she had time. Annoyed with herself, she should’ve done her research and found out earlier who the captains were. Great.

Clarke took her seat beside Marcus and quickly avoided Lexa’s eyes. At least it looked like she was just as surprised.

“So Clarke how have you found Brasil?” The CEO of Brasil Rugby asked, she had already forgotton his name.

“Honestly, it has been great. There’s been a lot to learn, the language, the people but it has been great”

“I can imagine it is different to England, what are your thoughts of the rugby?”

“Well yes it is different, the rugby too. Obviously in England we have a much wider range of teams, players with more games etc. But you know I have been impressed by the standard here, the passion of the game. There’s a lot I can bring from my experience-“

“You were one of the professional players were you not?”

“Yes I was”

“What happened?”

Clarke sighed, she hated talking about this especially to a stranger “I got an injury, one that ruled me out of playing at the elite level”

“Such a shame, but now we have you here and hopefully you can get our girls to the standards you were at”

“I will certainly try” Clarke smiled, hoping she wouldn’t have to go into further details.

“Lexa, maybe you and Clarke could spend some time together you definitely have a lot to learn from her I think” The CEO brought Lexa into conversation.

“Yes, well she has been coaching my team back in Sao Paulo and I have learnt a bit already but I am curious as to what I can learn, and the national team, from Clarke over the next couple of weeks” The food arrived and conversation got lighter, but Clarke couldn’t help but feel she was being watched. Every time she looked up she noticed green eyes quickly look away. Once everyone had eaten and had made their leave she quickly headed to her room, she needed to relax and that meal was far from relaxing.

Lexa saw Clarke head quickly out of the restaurant and decided to follow her. As soon as Clarke had walked into the restaurant earlier she didn’t know what to think or do, barely making conversation which Indra noticed. She knew they were getting a new coach but she never thought it would be Clarke, but now when she thinks about it she’s annoyed at herself for thinking that as why not get an ex-England player coach them. It made perfect sense and well, Clarke was the best coach Lexa had the opportunity to know. Throughout the meal she tried to catch Clarke’s eye but to no avail and she needed to talk to her. Clear the air. Or try too.

Lexa caught up with Clarke before she entered her room and grabbed her hand, “Clarke wait-“ Clarke didn’t hesitate, with one hand on the door she opened it and pulled Lexa into her room pinning her to wall bringing her into a passionate kiss. Well that was one why to clear the air Lexa thought. Getting lost in the kiss both girls explored eachothers mouths. This was different to the time before, both were sober. Eventually Clarke pulled away.

“I just wanted to see what that was like, that it really happened that night” Clarke looked down at her feet, she knew what she needed to do and it was going to hurt. Unconsciously she had fallen but it couldn’t happen. She was the coach.

“It did happen Clarke, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it” Lexa brought her hand to Clarke’s cheek and looked into her eyes, “I won’t stop thinking about it-“

“You have too” Clarke whispered. Both girls looked at each other, taking each other in. They knew it. It couldn’t happen, the coach and the captain. It just couldn’t happen. But they wanted it too.

“I’m sorry Lexa I can’t do this” Clarke backed away, tears filling her eyes. This is what she had realised at the meal, seeing Lexa and being surrounding by her coaching team. She had come here for a reason, and that wasn’t to fall in love.

Lexa looked at Clarke pleading for some sign, but realising she wasn’t going to get one she walked away. She knew how she felt, and maybe how Clarke felt too. But they had a job to do, and they couldn’t have distractions. As the door closed, Clarke collapsed on her bed in tears. Of all the places and of all the people she had to fall for it was Lexa, the person she knew she couldn’t have.


	14. Authors Note

Didn't want to do this, i hate authors note but I wanted to explain why I haven't updated for a while. First of all i have another fanfiction that i got into and then i just found it hard to back into writing this. Also life got in the way. If there is still the need for this to continue i will do and try my best! Any ideas of where this could go would also be welcome! :)


	15. Call from the past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke gets an unexpected call and a visitor when the team arrive in Dubai. 
> 
> Short chapter, but I am back with this story!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i haven't updated in a while!

After weeks of training, the team and coaches were waiting for their flight. The first leg of their games would be in Dubai. Being the host of the Olympics, meant Brazil automatically qualified for the Rugby and so it had led to being able to compete at the world series as an invitational team. Something Clarke hoped to change, she knew if they ranked high enough in the Olympics it would been they would qualify as a team competing in the World Series.

That was her goal,to change the face of the team and give them more of an opportunity. And the team soon realised that in the first week of camp. What the team hadn't realised she was using this as a distraction. A distraction to the butterflies she got every time Lexa entered a room. What she didn't realise as the players had figured out the tension between their captain and coach, and had already shipped them, much to Lexa's annoyance.

Clarke hated flying and she was currently scrolling through Facebook to try and distract her thoughts when her phone began to ring, frowning Clarke answered the phone not recognising the number;

"Hello?"

"Clarke" the call was faint and Clarke still didn't recognise who it was

"Speaking, who is this?"

"Well last time we spoke, you definitely wasn't this formal - I believe you was screaming my name-"

"Don't! I am currently sat with the squad and you will make me embarrassed! I can't believe your calling me, how have you been?" It all clicked. Clarke was very aware of who was on the other side of the phone. An old team mate, or former fuck buddy over the years. Both had been in the same place whenever they met, not wanting anything serious and well having a relationship with someone in the same team just complicated things, so it was always physical between the two.

"Well a birdy tells me you are this super hot coach bringing her team to Dubai" Clarke smirked, she quite liked being referred to as the hot coach.

"That birdy would be correct" Getting up from where she sat she walked away from the group, knowing she would need some more privacy for this call.

"Well it would be great to catch up"

"Catch up? is that what they are calling it these days" Clarke laughed, if she was honest she could use the distraction and she missed her team mates.

"Hey, no honestly, camp isn't the same without you. I miss you, and I know things were just physical between us, but you are still my team mate, always! Come on, it be good i can tell you all the gossip!" Clarke thought about it, what harm would there be? At the end of the day these girls knew her and she needed to catch up.

"Go on then! One condition"

"Name it"

"Bring me some malteasers, I need them in my life!"

"You got it princess!" Hanging up the phone, Clarke smiled. Dubai was looking like it was going to be better than she expected.

* * *

 

It had been an awful flight. Lexa just wanted to get her bags and get to the hotel so she could relax. They had arrived at an awkward time so all they would do when they checked in is stretch and relax, with a bit of yoga which she was actaully looking forward too. The rest of the team not so much.

"Come on Commander, here is your last bag" Indra passed it to her and they followed the rest of the girls out to the bus that was waiting for them. Lexa could see Clarke at the front talking with Bea and she couldn't help the jealously that built up. Clarke had barely spoken with her freely since that night, and she missed it. Sighing, she got out her phone and sent Anya a message to say they had arrived. She noticed she had a tonne of notifications and e-mails to check, which she ignored. She was terrible with her phone.

"Come on" Indra pulled her away from her phone, so she could get on the bus. Noticing that most of the girls had found there seats, either trying to get their phones to work, or trying to shed some clothes (it was boiling in Dubai) she found a seat at the back, and put on her headphones. They had an hour before they got to the hotel, and well she needed to relax.

Clarke noticed Lexa head to the back of the bus, and she sighed. Honestly she felt guilty about the way she had been these past few weeks, but there was nothing she could do. Grabbing her phone she noticed she had a message: Let me know when you check-in, maybe we can catch up privately? ;)

Honestly, that girl she thought. It always baffled her how they never entered a relationship, they would go well together but they were both focused on their rugby and being the best athletes they could be. It was always just physical but they both knew it could've been more if they wanted. But could Clarke do that knowing she felt something for Lexa? She didn't know, but one thing was for sure, she couldn't have Lexa.

* * *

 

It didn't take the team long to settle into their rooms once they arrived, with a few of their players heading to the pool. Clarke also joining them, quickly sending a message of her location. Grabbing a sun lounge, the blonde put on sun lotion, with a very flustered Lexa taking in every movement she made.

"Lex isn't that?" Indra pulled her out of her thoughts, pointing at a figure that was now walking towards Clarke. It didn't take the brunette long to recognise who it was, even if she hadn't been wearing the England kit she would of recognised her. It was the England captain, a player that Lexa had spent years idolising.

"What she doing here?" Indra spoke the words Lexa instantly thought, watching the tall player arrive by Clarke and sit by her rather comfortably. Too comfortably in Lexa's eyes.

Clarke didn't even need to open her eyes to know who had suddenly sat by her on her sun lounger. She recognised the perfume instantly. Smiling, clarke opened her eyes and was met with a face she hadn't realised she had missed.

"Hey you" the brunette smirked. Clarke didn't even care who was around and instantly pulled the brunette into an embrace, with a quick peck on the cheek. The brunette didn't hesitate to move herself so that she was sat fully on the sun lounge with Clarke on her lap, both girls grinning at each other.

"It's been too long" Clarke whispered and grabbed the girls hand pulling her up without hesitation. Both girls didn't notice the hurt that was clear on another brunettes face, as they walked past the pool and heading back into the hotel. Indra took one look at her captain, and close friend and knew she was hurting. 

"Lexa-"

"I'm fine" Lexa cut her friend off and got out of the pool and heading straight to the gym. She needed to take her mind of things, she couldn't believe what she had seen and she hated how much it hurt. This was way she hated feelings. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than usual - and this is how they will be from now on just so I can update much quicker!


	16. Nothing is what it seems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so what really does happen with Clarke and her friend...

The past hour Lexa spent trying to avoid her thoughts of Clarke with someone else. She was no fool she could read the body language between the tow and knew they had history, something she hasn't even had the chance to have. And that hurt. She was in deep and she knew it, she had always been able to manage her feelings but Clarke was Clarke. Thankfully Indra had joined her, saying something about making sure she didn't cause any injuries, which Lexa just smirked at - her friend knew her well that was for sure and well Indra was a good gym partner as they both worked out in silence which Lexa needed. 

 

Lexa knew a chance with Clarke was minimal, especially considering their positions. Coaches and Captains of the team do not hook up, even if it was joked about, it just wasn't the thing to do and Lexa knew Clarke was very adamant of that. It is why they had kept distance with each other the past few weeks. However, Lexa couldn't hide her feelings and neither could Clarke so it had been noticed by the rest of the team, but thankfully not by the other coaches. So Lexa knew that today was a way for Clarke to ensure know one would come to think of them both as anything other than what they were, and that their lingering looks were purely coincidental. Facing facts,  Lexa knew she was going to have to find a way to move on, hence being in the gym pushing herself as much as possible despite the disapproving looks Indra was now giving her. 

"Time" Indra whispered to Llexa, as they finally left the gym and Lexa nodded, grateful for the comment as she knew her friend meant more behind it. Clarke Griffin may have her heart, but she was Lexa Woods and she would do what she has always done and throw herself into the game, after all she wasn't going to allow her heart impact on her goals. She was the commander on the pitch, and she would get back to that and show the world what she was capable of. 

 

* * *

 

 

Heading up to her room, Clarke's heart was pounding and she knew it wasn't because of whose hand she was holding. She would be lying to herself if she even tried to convince anyone that it was, but she couldnt stop thinking about the look on Lexa's face  as she left the pool. 

As both girls entered the room, Clarke pulled the brunette into a deep kiss quickly initiating where she knew things would lead and it was quickly reciprocated. After a couple of minutes of kissing, Clarke pulled the brunette towards the bed; 

"Clarke wait" Clarke turned at looked at her friend, and sighed. She forgot how well this girl knew her, years of training, hanging out and eventually becoming friends with benefits, had led to them both being able to read eachother very well. 

"How long have we known each other Clarke?" The blonde rolled her eyes, she knew where this was leading to, the brunette in front of her just arched her eyebrow and sat next to Clarke on the bed and put her arm around the blondes shoulder. Clarke gave in to the comfort and grabbed onto the girl's t-shirt and hugged her tightly back, she had missed this closeness, missed having someone there. 

"Come on Clarke, tell me all about her" the brunette kissed the blonde's forehead and encouraged her to speak, noticing the spark in the blondes eyes she mentioned the name, 'Lexa'. 

 

* * *

 

Lexa joined the rest of the team for dinner, exhausted but thankful to Indra for waking her from her nap as she knew she probably would of slept through and missed food. As she sat down everyone was lost in conversation, noticing how exhausted she was her team mates didn't mind her lack of input just giving her reassuring smiles. They were a team so they knew how their captain was feeling, even if she did think she hid it well. They knew she had fallen for a certain blonde. Eventually the coaches joined them, and Lexa fought hard to not even look up as Clarke walked in last, something which Clarke noticed and quickly engrossed herself in conversation with the physio, Nyko, to check all the players had been looked after, she was surprised to hear that Lexa had been flagged up as possibly overtaining something which concerned the coach greatly, but she tried her hardest not to show it. 

Indra had watched both captain and coach closely, and sighed. These two were frustrating her and needed their heads banging together she was sure of it. So she headed over to the coaches table. 

"Clarke could I talk to you for a second?" mid sentence, Clarke looked up to see Indra and instantly she knew what this was about. 

"Sure, take a seat" Indra nodded, knowing that she would have to tread carefully with her words due to the rest of the coaches seated around them, but she needed Clarke to be aware of her actions. 

"What can I do for you Indra?" Clarke asked nervously, she was nervous, Indra was Lexa's closest friends on the team and if anyone knew how the brunette felt it would be Indra, and how Clarke wished she could just go over and speak to said brunette especially after today. 

"Well I just wanted to let you know, your visitor today, the girls saw and well it might have left a few of them unsettled you know, with her being the captain of the England team and all" Indra was trying her hardest to imply that seeing the player would have unsettled the team as well most of the players admire her, when really she wanted to tell Clarke that importantly it unsettled Lexa who spent the rest of the afternoon in the gym. 

"I see, well thank you for letting me know, but the team does not need to worry, my friend came to see me today to help me with you all. You see we go a long way me and her, she was to me how you are to Lexa and she knew how nervous I was coming here. Believe it or not Indra, being here with no-one to turn to is difficult for me, this is the first tournament I am here as a coach and not a player, do you understand?" Indra nodded, she didn't realise that Clarke had felt like that but it was obvious that they were more to each other than team mates helping each other out, like her and Lexa. "Anyway, she helped me a lot, in fact more ways than one and you can let the team know that they have nothing to worry about" Clarke then whispered, "And you can tell Lexa, today I realised how I truly feel and I am sorry" With that Clarke excused herself, barely touching her food and heading back to her room, hoping no-one noticed. 

Unfortunately, Marcus had been watching his coach and key player very well these past few weeks and had noticed a lot more than they realised. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See Clarke realised, and hopefully now things will work out but do you think Lexa should allow it?  
> Also what do you think Marcus has seen?


	17. Watchful eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while so thought I'd get back to this story!

2 out of 4 games won. Honestly Clarke was relieved they finished third in the group and would progress to compete for the challenge trophy, she was pleased, more so with how the team played.

"Good work Clarke" Marcus said in passing, he was definitely impressed she could tell but she didn't want to celebrate just yet, "thanks but there is still tomorrow" she replied.

"Your right but the girls can take the confidence of today into tomorrow and that's been because of you, that much is clear" Marcus was no fool, he had been watching Clarke closely, the way she handled the team and managed to build their confidence during the tournament - something the team needed. He also couldn't deny the way the team looks to Clarke. They respected her, even Indra which he was surprised at. Clarke had been making an impact in not ways than one.

"Thank you Marcus" Clarke felt uncomfortable, she never could deal with compliment or praise. She was also very aware Marcus was keeping a close eye on things and her coaching specifically, he wasn't too pleased with her coming on boat that much she had learnt. Men and their egos.

 "Just be careful Clarke I wouldn't want you to get too big for your boots" Marcus smirked leaving Clarke in the empty corridor outside the changing rooms.

Clarke didn't know what to think to that comment and she was now sure not than ever that Marcus wasn't really supportive of her. She was going to have to watch that for sure. Grabbing her bag she followed Marcus out of the corridor to the waiting team bus. She couldn't wait to get back and have a shower, but she knew she had a coaches meeting once they returned. Sighing she got out her phone and noticed the messages she had received throughout the day. Her friends being supportive as usual but on caught her eye;

**TheCommander: Can we talk?**

Clarke didn't know what to reply. She hadn't spoken to Lexa really other than as a coach and well admitting how she felt to her past lover? she didn't even know if that was the  right word but yeah  didn't know what to do or how to reply. No she couldn't, wouldn't deal with this not when she was surrounded by the national team. Turning he  phone off she got her ipod and notepad out ready to write down her reflections of the day, everyone knew by now not to interrupt  her when she was doing this. 

Lexa sighed, she had seen Clarke get out her phone and sure enough her message had the blue ticks next to it to show it had been read - stupid whatsapp showing when someone had read your message, she thought. Today had been hard, throughout she had to really fight to focus on the game, something she has never really had to do and she hated it. Her team mates had noticed, but just gave her the space she needed but she knew there was only one person that could help. The blonde  currently ignoring her message. 

Eventually they got back to the hotel and after some recovery stretches and ice bath, Lexa found herself alone in her room. She knew her teammates were probably hanging out in one of the rooms but she needed to be alone, she needed to focus. That's why when there was a knock at her door she was surprised, even more suprised to see the person standing on the other side of the door, who quickly launched at her kissing her passionately with no care to whoever saw. Bringing the blonde into the room, Lexa closed the door only to be attacked again with needy kisses. Well so much for trying to focus she thought. 

As the door closed, one person finally found something he could use. Marcus smiled, he was sure to make sure that this was the last tournament Clarke Griffin would be leading the coaching. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?


	18. Kisses and Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally talk...

Lexa pulled Clarke further into the room, with the room never pulling away from her lips. It was needy but Lexa knew this was only a moment of vulnerability and she needed to use her head. 

"Clarke..." The blonde ignored her, and pinned her against the wall, moving her leg in between Lexas, and Lexa already knew this was going to be harder than she thought, she knew how turned on she already was. 

"CLARKE, PLEASE" Lexa pulled herself away, and didn't miss the sigh that the blonde made. She looked at Clarke in her eyes and she could see the blonde was hiding something. Taking her hand she led her to the balcony. They needed to talk that was for sure. 

Clarke was going out of her mind, she didn't know what to think all she knew was that she wanted Lexa more than she had ever wanted anyone. But it was messed up. She was her coach, it wasn't ethical for her to get tangled up with a player of the team, she wasn't even sure if there was regulations about it but she knew her own morals and well this was something she promised she would never do. But then Lexa, she couldn't stop thinking about her, and she knew Lexa knew. 

"Sit down Clarke" Lexa pointed to the chair opposite her, she was nervous and she could still feel the blondes lips on hers. Clarke sat down, eyes down and honestly she looked so vulnerable Lexa didn't know what to think. This girl, who used to be her role model in the game, who she injured by a bad tackle, and had come to Brazil with hate towards her was now sat in front of her looking so sad, it broke Lexa's heart. Lexa reached out for Clarkes hand and gently held it. 

"Clarke look at me" Clarke finally looked up, and Lexa could see the tears forming in her eyes. 

"We should talk Clarke" there was no reply, Clarke just continued to stare at Lexa. She was trying to gather her thoughts, but with Lexa's hand holding hers all she wanted to do is fall into the brunettes arms. This was crazy, she hadn't felt like this before, the need for someone else. After what seemed like forever, eventually Clarke nodded. It was inevitable, they needed to talk. 

"Okay I'll start I guess, I mean I don't know where to begin" Lexa tried to gather her thoughts, if she was honest this whole situation was completed unexpected. She was always focused, but she knew whatever this was had been effecting her game and she needed to deal with it. "Clarke you are my coach, for club and national team, but I am drawn to you like no one else and I don't understand it. One minute you are cold with me the next you are showing up kissing me and well I-"

"You hurt me" Clarke eventually spoke, and Lexa looked back at the blonde to see the anger in her eyes which surprised her enough to let go of the blondes hand. "Lex let me finish." Clarke got up and knelt in front of the brunette. "You hurt me in more ways than one, I hated you for months because I blamed you for that tackle, I hated you because you took away my career and you didn't even reach out, like any other player would of, to see if I was okay. That was what hurt. My relationships with so many people broke down, rugby was my everything. But then I began coaching and got offered to come here and I never expected to see you, but when I did I felt something which I didn't understand, I mean how could I find the girl who caused my injury, to be attractive. It was messed up. I couldn't get you out of my head, even seeing my, I don't even know what you would call her, but well we had something, not love but it was enough, and she knew straight away something wasn't right. I can't get you out of my head, and it hurts because I just want to hate you and that be that. But you have consumed me, and you are right I am your coach. We can't...we shouldn't do this" 

Lexa didn't know what to think, finally she knew where Clarke's head was at and honestly she got it. 

"So what do we do?" Lexa timidly asked. 

"I said we shouldn't do this, but I can't stop it.  I can't stop my heart from wanting you, for choosing you. Honestly I don't know. Maybe we should just get it out of our systems and that be that, I don't know" Clarke sighed, she knew that wouldn't be the case for her, but she didn't want to risk things. Lexa stood up and pulled Clarke towards her. She held the blonde in an embrace. "I want this, I want us but right now I have to focus" Lexa didn't even know why she was saying this, she wanted Clarke truly. Her heart was screaming out for the blonde and her she was saying it could happen, but she didn't just want to get it out of her system, she wanted all of Clarke but she knew that she had to stick to her plan. Rugby. 

"So we stay friends?" Clarke asked. 

"Friends" Lexa nodded and kissed the blonde on her cheek. Without hesitation Clarke walked out the room and left Lexa standing on the balcony with tears falling. She knew they both wanted to be together but they both had a plan. Rugby was what they were. Clarke knew it too and called the one person she could relay on; 

"Hello?"

"O I need you, really need you" She burst into tears as soon as she entered her room and finally let her walls down to her best friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know but they think they are doing the right thing - they are training for the Olympics after all  
> But don't worry they soon realise it won't work especially when Marcus gets involved!


End file.
